In case you haven't heard, the 2006 Winter Olympics are now on NBC.

Not that I have watched them. In fact, I would have been oblivious throughout if it weren't for my habitual combination of procrastination and the Internet.

I browsed the Olympic Web site, www.olympic.org, to find out what city they were in -- Torino -- and then spent an additional 10 minutes trying to figure out exactly where Torino was (Italy, go figure). I'm dismayed to admit that I didn't know. But I'm even more saddened to admit I hardly cared.

When I was younger I counted down to the Olympics like it was 11:59 p.m. on New Year's Eve. I wanted to be an Olympic athlete. I used to watch the competitions in awe. Not anymore. Now, I'd rather watch Law & Order reruns.

I gave the winter games a chance, I really did. Flipping through the channels, I happened upon men's curling. I watched for about two minutes, and just as I started understanding the rules, suddenly I was barraged by a slew of Coca-Cola and Budweiser commercials. Ah, screw it, what else is on, I thought. If I want to be harassed by giant floating Coke ads, I'll go to the movies.

But apparently I'm not the only one experiencing Olympic apathy. According to a Feb. 15 Associated Press article, NBC's household rating for the Feb. 10 opening ceremony was down nearly 50 percent since the debut of the 2002 games in Salt Lake City -- that's almost half of the 45 million viewers that watched four years ago.

Why does no one in America seem to care anymore? Maybe the summer sports are more popular. Maybe the lack of diversity is too great, as the winter games' population is typically whiter than a Republican convention. Maybe it is because we can no longer root for the red, white and blue against the Pinko-Commies and East German he-shes.

Or maybe the real problem is Olympic modernization and corporate syndication. Exhibit A: In an NBC interview with retiring skier Daron Rahlves, Rahlves occupied one half of the screen, and his skis, with a large unavoidable "Atomic" logo and its Web site, www.atomic.com, filled the other. Wannabe skiers at home promptly log on.

The Olympics began in Greece in 776 B.C. The games encouraged physical excellence in Greek youth as well as diplomatic relations between city-states. Today, the Olympics represent $4 bottles of water and warfare over million-dollar corporate sponsorship. In fact, 40 percent of Olympic revenue comes from corporate sponsors, according to the Olympic Web site.

Sponsorship of the games dates back to archaic wealthy Athenian patrons. However, I'm almost positive the ancient Greeks didn't turn away spectators holding products from nonsponsors, unlike the strict sanctions imposed at the 2004 Athens games.

The International Olympic Committee is more and more concerned with protecting corporate interests than the athletes themselves. The Olympic and Amateur Sports Act even refers to the United States Olympic Committee as a "corporation."

Moreover, Olympic committees and NBC, in an effort to incite interest in the games, have resorted to promoting an "edgier" image.

In a Feb. 17 Associated Press article, Robert Thompson, director of the Center for the Study of Popular Television at Syracuse University, explained that the strategy for promoting the Olympics is now 50 percent sport, 50 percent soap opera, with increasing emphasis on pop culture.

"Some of that hipping-up promotion is a little pathetic," Thompson said. "It's like that high school gym teacher who wants you to call him by his first name."

Is nothing interesting unless it's "Xtreme"? First Go-gurt, now this?

Inspiring stories of blood, sweat and sheer dedication have disappeared, replaced by "hip" music videos and strategic product placement. It's not about just making the Wheaties box anymore. Or perhaps it still is, but the ideal has just gone way overboard.

When more people are watching American Idol than the oldest sporting event in recorded history, it is time to reconsider Olympic values.

The Olympics need a new Jamaican bobsled team.

And America doesn't need any more pop star publicity and Chevy commercials. It needs more real heroes.