America could probably cure poverty for, like, weeks with all the money corporations throw into ad time during the Super Bowl. But who needs social justice when millions of people are watching fat men running into each other at the same time?

All vagaries aside, Sunday's game was truly a Super Bowl for the ages; far from the foregone conclusions and lopsided victories of past years, Big Ben Roethlisberger and his boys might've dominated the scoreboard, but there wasn't a second there when Seattle couldn't have taken it back.

And for the first time in quite a while, the game itself proved at least twice as interesting as the commercial spots jammed in between plays. Everyday commercials are so whacked out at this point that it really takes something special to even raise an eyebrow, and by and large, the big-budget Super Sunday ads didn't deliver.

Still, that didn't stop this intrepid young reporter from sitting there like a goon, notebook in hand, taking a play-by-play of the best of the bunch. Here's what I came up with.

Top 5:

5. Lost - So the old dude and the big fellow from Lost are queuing up something on a film projector. The numbers roll down, and then, for some reason, it's Robert Palmer's super-stylish "Addicted to Love" video. It seems random at first, but then it slowly dawns on you: They're going to change the lyrics. "Might as well face it," the late Bob croons, "you're addicted to Lost." Normally, I wouldn't go for this Weird Al-lite nonsense, but since so many of my friends and acquaintances are deep in the throes of Lost dependency, I couldn't help but chuckle. It's a fun show, for sure, but I think ABC was poking as much fun at you junkies as it was reveling in your obsession. Either way, witty stuff.

4. Burger King - No, it came nowhere near the glorious heights of Hootie, surrounded by midgets, singing a country song about the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch. And yes, that creepy BK king, one of commercial's finest recurring characters, was criminally underused. But the Busby Berkeley-style '30s musical motif of the Burger King Whopperettes ad was mightily inspired. If you're not struck dumb with awe by the sight of a gal dressed as a giant onion slice, hopping on top of a pile of other vegetables, well, too bad for you.

3. ESPN's Pro Bowl coverage - Exploring addiction was a popular theme this year; I'm just glad there weren't any commercials calling out Your World with Cavuto nuts like myself. But I felt a bit misty-eyed during ESPN's Pro Bowl ad. A football fan meets his pizza man at the door. They embrace, painfully aware that it may be months before their next cheesy, doughy rendezvous. A voice comes over the scene, announcing that this Sunday's Pro Bowl is the "last, final game." It's been one of the best years in Pennsylvania football history, what with our Lions taking charge and then the Steelers winning the big dance. But football's over, kids. And this ad captured just why that thought is such a sad one.

2. Sprint - Two middle-aged men discuss the features on their Sprint cell phones, attempting to one-up each other with their pocket technology. When it becomes clear they're working with the same equipment, Man 1 resorts to desperate measures: His phone, he claims, is packing "crime repellant." He then baits Man 2 to steal his phone. He tries but can't get his fingers around the mobile before Man 1 chucks it at his head. Twice. Just like Russell Crowe! I guess I just really like seeing people get hit in the face with stuff.

1. Hummer - A robot and a giant monster meet in the streets of some anonymous Asian metropolis. They meet and greet, there's a courting period, and finally, they spawn. And what should spring from the loins of these superbeasts but a bright red Hummer. This ad was hilarious and unexpected, and it came packing a lesson: If you ever need to fight Mothra, I guess Hummer is the vehicle for you. I'm sold.