Morningwood knows the value of a good gimmick. I'm don't mean its dumb name, which pretty much ensures that the band's first full-length album will be the last one anyone pays attention to. No, the gimmick I'm referring to is Morningwood's realization that it's far easier to earn some cred as a lousy pop-punk band if they've got a pretty lady standing in front at all times.

Morningwood's front woman, Chantal Claret, is a fairly good-looking woman with an even better fashion sense, although I suppose that could be the work of a personal stylist. She's not much of a singer and she's not in much of a band. Try as they might, Morningwood is about as punk as Starbucks. And Morningwood's self-titled debut provides roughly half the rush of a decaf Frappuccino. Morningwood comes off like a washed-up KISS cover band proudly failing an audition.

Claret's vocals attempt to be both unhinged and alluring, a dichotomy she just can't quite pull off. She clearly has no idea what she's doing behind a mic, and I suspect that if it were a dude claiming to be 'punk' up there sounding that amateurish, the rest of the band would've kicked him to the curb.

The songs irritate well before they've power-chorded their way to the finish line. Single "Nth Degree" finds Claret spelling out the band's name. I can see this being popular, but I can't see anybody giving a darn in three months.

-- Reviewed by Paul Thompson