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Friday, Nov. 4, 2005
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Album's young blood, old tricks do not mix
Reviewed by Paul Thompson
Collegian Staff Writer
Back before VH1 would've ever dreamed of regularly airing Chingy videos or The Swankiest Celebrity Toilet Bowls, the network used to be one of the last great bastions of adult contemporary music. What is adult contemporary, you ask? Why, it's any Elton John song that's been released in your lifetime. And VH1 used to play that jive 24/7.
You may not remember this far back, but Latin guitar icon Carlos Santana was one of VH1's last great pre-Breaking Bonaduce triumphs. After kicking around for a couple of decades making bloated smooth-jazz and occasionally moonlighting on sympathetic jam band tours, the once-great Carlos grew mighty tired of the veggie burrito set and recruited some of the brightest stars of the Class of 1999 to help record the 15-million-seller Supernatural. Prodded along by a number of digestible singles featuring the likes of Rob Thomas, ironically-named folk-rapper Everlast, and The Product G&B (fellas: Product G&B jokes kill at parties), Supernatural was an unavoidable smash, and VH1 aired the heck out of it.
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1 of 5 paws
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In 2002, Carlos gave the formula another try with Shaman, finding a hit in Michelle Branch's "The Game of Love" but little else to match Supernatural's apparently-mystical charms. But Shaman did well regardless, and Carlos tightened his grip on unlikely mainstream adulation, even if his star-making channel, VH1, had by that point become far more concerned about the frequency of Matt Damon's colon cleansings. Three years later, while VH1 plays nearly as much 50 Cent as John Mayer, Carlos and friends are back for a third installment, All That I Am. But in this age of 40 Most Awesomely Bad Dirrty Songs, it's just not the kind of record that's gonna get any love from the network. Thing is, it's not the kind of record that should get any love from anybody.
When Carlos hand-selected his collaborators for Supernatural and even Shaman, it seemed like he genuinely wanted to make a great record and felt he needed some young blood to help him conjure up his past glory. But with his third record in the "hey, who makes wimpy music that would sound good with my silky guitar acrobatics all over it?" series, Carlos is generating cashable product, spinning his wheels behind whichever flavor of last month answers his phone calls and creating music that's uninspired.
On paper, Carlos jamming with Big Boi, Mary J. Blige, Anthony Hamilton, and even Metallica's Kirk Hammett sounds like it could almost be great. Through speakers, though, the result is nullifying; Carlos' tiresome two-note solos give every song the same melted-margarita vibe, and having nothing good to work with musically, the guest musicians diplomatically try to keep smiles on their faces while they mumble their way through four minutes of fluff. Michelle Branch does the same song here she did on Shaman. Los Lonely Boys show us that Los Lobos isn't the only band they rip off. And Joss Stone and Sean Paul join Carlos on a track called "Cry Baby Cry," and the nicest thing I can think to write of it is that at least it's not a Beatles cover.
The best cut is probably hairy American Idol runner-up Bo Bice's bluesy "Brown Skin Girl." The worst (and believe me when I say it's got loads of competition) is "I Am Somebody."
I won't say anything about the Spanish-language songs Carlos on All That I Am, other than "Oye Como Va" is still much, much better.
And now that VH1's all about the smarmy pop-culture reference (give me a job already, people), the drowsy, incredibly earnest All That I Am may have a heck of a time finding its audience without the support of the network that gave Carlos his second chance. It's for the best, though, really, since the paint-by-numbers All That I Am isn't the kind of record that should be heard by anybody.
And, if VH1 denying adult contemporary a mainstream forum leads to the out-and-out death of the genre, well then, that may just be the best week ever.
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