These are harsh times we live in. Papers, homework, midterms, not to mention the countless amount of garbage, are slowly drowning us and infesting our airwaves and society. Luckily, it wasn't always so bad.

Please, take a magic carpet ride with me on my time machine back, back to a simpler time. Back to when things were great. Back to when men were men and women were women. That's right: I'm talking about the '90s. The decade that proved without a doubt its superiority over the decade we're in now (what's the name of this decade anyway?).

What's that? You say you don't believe me? Let's compare notes.

First, how about music? Take a look at some of the artists out today: Ciara, Akon and Bobby Valentino. All decent artists, but who can forget Bone-Thugs-N-Harmony, Wu-Tang Clan, Tupac, and of course, Kris Kross? Tell me one person whose life wasn't changed by the hit "Jump, jump." They were the ones who taught us that wearing our clothes backward gives us extra flexibility.

But maybe rap and hip hop aren't your types of music. What about Simple Plan, Good Charlotte and the new (bad) Metallica? They're all just a waste of time. All of their songs sound the same, except for Metallica, which sounds like the product of rocks thrown into a garbage can. Real rock came out of the '90s, with bands such as Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Nine Inch Nails and Rage Against the Machine. These were bands that knew how to rock and brought grunge and hard rock into the mainstream.

Even TV was much better back then. What do we have now? Cartoons with sponges? Who can forget the timeless antics of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? They showed us how to fight for good causes and eat pizza at the same time.

And, of course, we can never forget the horrifying tales of Are You Afraid of the Dark? or the amusing antics of Zach Morris when he was Saved by the Bell. Both these shows taught us valuable lessons on how to live life and how to respect others.

Today it seems as though any idea can be made into a show with no regard for common sense. If you need convincing, you can just tune into any show on MTV.

All of today's shows fit neatly into three different genres: law, medicine or science fiction. The greatest show of the '90s, The X-Files, was the perfect blend of all three, so that everyone could get something from the show. The '90s also housed the golden era of The Simpsons. While it's still a great show, it has lost some of its original luster.

How many of you have heard "Let's get crunked?" Or any countless number of Dave Chappelle references? These phrases may get the message across, but they really don't mean anything. A much better way to express yourself is through the use of the words "radical" or "dope." They're the perfect words that fit any occasion. You can use them to compliment a special lady (or guy) and to express amazement, or they can even be used as adjectives.

But you're looking for that one special word that defines you. The one word that fits any social or professional situation. The word that makes the ladies swoon and the guys want to be you. That word is "cowabunga." For use only when there can be no substitutes. Use it wisely.

Do I even have to mention movies? All I have to say is Gigli.

The '90s, on the other hand, had Bad Boys, The Rock, Pulp Fiction, Forrest Gump, The Matrix, etc. These were original, creative movies that blew you away the first time you saw them. There's no contest here.

But, if you're reading this and you're in college, then you probably were a child in the '90s, and those were the greatest times of your life. Remember the times when you had no schoolwork, no worries -- only fun? The summertime consisted of going out everyday and playing with friends.

And the toys, who can forget those toys? The infamous Magic Eye books in which you could see a 3-D image, or the Talkboy of Home Alone fame. And of course, everyone had to have Pogs. How do you play it? Nobody knows, but everyone had their own little collection, including slammers. These were toys that you could get lost in for hours at a time. How often do you even see toy commercials anymore? Nowadays, you can easily lose interest in toys after 10 minutes.

But maybe pop culture isn't for you. Maybe you prefer politics. Who do we have now -- George W. Bush? Even the very mention of his name is enough to make some people slap their foreheads and begin crying.

But back in the day, Clinton brought about happy times in this nation, whether you liked him or not. Who cares how he lived his personal life? He was the president, not God. There is no requirement for the president to be a perfect human being. I mean, who can deny the prosperity that we enjoyed under his reign? Even Bush senior did a satisfactory job.

And one of the major things we experience today is war. That is, the war over in Iraq. Compare it to the '90s, where we had war ... in Iraq.

I guess some things never change.