I used to have this really naïve notion about the world.

I used to think that when people "grew up" and became adults, everyone sort of normalized out -- that all idiosyncrasies and emotional issues and shortcomings were purged and that (with the exception of extreme cases like criminals and savants) everyone lived out relatively normal lives with the same "EQ."

Oh man, was I wrong.

I'd like to say there was some moment of magical epiphany where I came to understand the darkest secret the "real world" has to offer, but I won't pretend.

Instead, it was a gradual, reluctant dip into the cold, insipid pool of reality, which reaffirms that this is no temporary belief of mine.

No one major event erroneously jaded me for life, but simply a period of careful observation showed me how self-destructive and immature people can be.

The truth is, people are just as screwed up at the ages of 30, 40, 50 and so on as they are at 20.

Are you emotionally masochistic in relationships? Get used to it. Do you like to take advantage of people? You'll go far because you probably won't stop. Do you sleep with people to feel better about yourself? I hope your sex drive is high for years to come.

Do you think you're above everyone else and can tell a bunch of strangers what's wrong with their lives just because your newspaper allows you to write a senior column? Yup, that's me.

These problems don't go away on their own when we "grow up." There is no such thing as growing up, only growing older. Where did this cynicism come from?

Maybe it's because there are almost as many divorces in my family as marriages.

Maybe it's because my 40-something boss last summer giggled as he bragged about the two 24-year-olds he was simultaneously dating in one sentence and then talked about his 17-year-old daughter in the next.

Maybe it's because my half-sister's husband's mom (get that?) purposely arranged her own wedding date -- second marriage, of course -- so that my half sister would be unable to attend -- a vengeful move to get back at her for stealing her little boy away.

Maybe it's because I know of a relationship where the guy actually spit at his girlfriend but shortly thereafter spent $600 on her for Valentine's Day, making everything peachy keen.

Don't get me wrong, I'm far from innocent in this rant. I've got my own skeletons in the closet. I'm not saying whether they're any more or less severe than anyone else's, but just like anyone else, I've got them.

In fact, last semester I was forced to grapple with one that I had sufficiently locked up for about five years. It was then that I learned the key to escaping the endless loop of our emotional hang-ups -- just talk about it.

No one is harder to forgive than yourself but if you bare your soul to those you trust, you just might be able to do it if someone forgives you first. Unfortunately, people are usually just too afraid of themselves. They ignore and repress whatever they don't like about themselves however they can rather than simply accept it or do something about it. And so we grow older with all these unresolved issues that continue to toy with us till the day we die.

Some of us feel all alone because we think no one else has the same problems. Well, I've got news for you -- we're all f---ed up.

But with that in mind, we shouldn't simply take solace in that notion and let ourselves off the hook. It's time to take control of our lives and ourselves before it's too late.

It's sad that my parting thoughts at Penn State are so morose, and yet I am hopeful that maybe a couple people out there will reevaluate where they are and what they want from their lives.

Of course, my arrogance in believing that people actually care about what I have to say is one of my hang-ups, so who am I to say?