Sitting at the end of the bench dressed in a butterscotch-colored suit, he was often tortured by the desire to run onto the court and launch a 3-pointer -- just like the good old days.

But minutes later, reality would set in, as it did during every home game, and Penn State senior Jamaal Tate remained in his chair. He realized his playing days were done. They've been done for some time now, but he wasn't ready to separate himself from the Penn State men's basketball team.

"Basketball has always been a part of me," Tate said. "It's kind of hard to stop something that has had such an influence on your life and got me where I am."

That's why Tate hung around and finished out the year as an inactive member/coaching assistant. He was the mentor, that coach with whom the players could connect, and perhaps his most endearing role -- team grandpa.

"He's like that guy sitting in the old rocking chair giving you some advice. He's been very helpful and encouraging," freshman guard Danny Morrissey said.

"Uncle Tate" has been through more than most 22-year-old students. Basketball has taken him down many roads; some he'll always remember, some he'd like to forget, and some that are a complete blur.

Tate is a recovering alcoholic. He hasn't touched a drink in almost two years and he doesn't intend to anytime soon.

All he has to do is think back to the morning of June 10, 2003, when he woke up hung over at 9 a.m. with the desire to have a drink before even brushing his teeth. That same day, the Linden, N.J., native checked into a rehab clinic in western Pennsylvania. He stayed there for two weeks, just long enough to realize he had to turn around his life. He missed other warning signs that indicated he was beginning to develop a problem with alcohol. Drinking alone during the day and after practice became a daily activity for Tate. He withdrew from classes in the spring of his junior year because he was failing every class.

He found himself in this mess and had no idea how or why he got into it.

"I had such trouble realizing I was an alcoholic because my vision of an alcoholic was an old guy that slept on the bench in the park who had lost everything," Tate said. "When I got in rehab, I was in there with doctors, lawyers and regular businessmen."

Tate was a Division I athlete who played in the NCAA tournament just two years before his downfall. A true freshman at the time of Penn State's Sweet 16 run in 2001, Tate showcased a critical four-point effort in an 82-74 upset against No. 2 seed North Carolina.

And what a magical run it was.

"It's something I can't describe," he said, with a boyish grin on his face. "It was definitely something special."

After losing to Temple in the Sweet 16, Tate returned for his sophomore season in which he averaged 6.5 points per game and ranked second on the team in assists. In March of that year, Tate had surgery on a torn bicep tendon. He attended rehab for the injury twice a day and couldn't even touch a basketball until September. And that's when the not-so-memorable road took a detour.

"That month of May is kind of a blur," Tate said. "Then the drinking escalated that summer. It was tough because I had lost a lot of what I had and couldn't do a lot of things I used to."