Most Happy Valley bars, at least the ones we students frequent, aren't so conducive to swanky cocktail consumption. Even though they'd certainly whip up a prissy drink at a patron's request, that patron would end up looking like an arrogant tool dangling a martini glass between his fingers amidst the dollar pitchers and rum and Cokes.

So what ends up happening is that we get stuck in that age-old liquor-plus-one mixer routine. Well shine up your drinking shoes, my friends, because it's time to bust out of your humdrum alcohol habits. And The Deli Restaurant's z-Bar is here to help.

Supposedly, everyone knows about The Deli, 113 Heister St., but I somehow managed to miss the boat until last week, so this is a heads up for y'all who might be as slow as me because The Deli is rad.

It's a swell place to expand your alcohol palate. It's the kind of watering hole where you can order stuff you hear about on Sex and the City, and not feel like a complete pompous yuppie because everyone around you is guzzling down whatever lager's cheapest on draft.

During the day, The Deli's the restaurant we all know and (maybe) love. The atmosphere is pretty standard ... All dark wood booths and TGI Friday's-worthy knick-knacks for the bar area, and no-fuss tables and chairs for the greenhouse-like back room. I've never been a huge fan of The Deli's food (it's pretty bland), but the menu's so extensive you know you can please the whole crowd.

It turns out The Deli's liquids menu is as extensive as its foodstuffs one.

The thing is, the prices suck unless it's happy hour. We're talking, like, six bucks or so for a snazzy drink, which is pretty standard, but at the same time, pretty pricey for the college crowd.

The upside is that The Deli rocks the happy hour. To The Deli, "hour" translates into hours. Every night of the week. Sunday through Wednesday, halfsies run from 9 to 11 p.m., and Thursday through Saturday, they run from 10 p.m. to midnight (with a $1 cover on weekends).

There are some rules though: Hot and frozen drinks, in addition to top-shelf liquors, are off-limits to the discount, but whatever, I'm too poor to be accustomed to Grey Goose anyway, so I'm not really complaining. Also, margaritas on the rocks slide down just as easily as the slushy variety.

All this happy hour jargon translates into prissy cocktails for two or three bucks a pop. Beat that.

To begin with, The Deli's martini list is extensive: there's 15 choices, including the Caramel Appletini, with caramel actually drizzled in the glass; the Startini, which bursts with Stoli vanilla and orange, plus cranberry and pineapple juices; and the refreshing Dirty Martini with gin, dry vermouth and olive juice.

Winners also include the Caipirinha (a sugery, limey rum-type cocktail), the sweet 'n' creamy Mudslide and the spicy, tangy Stingray Bloody Mary.

Other options include daiquiris and steaming mugs of liquored-up javas and cocoas, including the Spiked Cappuccino, the Captain's Irish Chai and the Mexican Coffee (Kahlua and tequila, aye carumba). But remember, you're going to have to return on a non-happy hour outing to sample those hot and frozen potables.

Moving on, The Deli supplies a huge selection of wines, microbrews, lagers, ales, hard ciders and shots. As I said, you really have the option of drinking whatever you fancy here, with the glaring exception of Sierra Nevada Ale (honestly, what kind of bar doesn't serve Sierra Nevada?).

Despite all The Deli's splendor, there are some drawbacks worth noting.

For starters, the drink menu doesn't list prices, which can get dangerous. The solution to this is just some good ol' fashioned common sense -- a martini goes at a higher rate than a vodka tonic, for instance. Another hazard is the whole sitting down at a table and starting a tab thing, versus the paying per drink at the bar thing. The check can add up pretty quickly (especially if you get the munchies and request a plate of fries), so keep track of what you order.

Also, make sure to carry some small bills so you're not that idiot with just a 50 in your wallet when it comes time to split the bill with your buddies.

The final pseudo-gripe is that there's no live music. This isn't so problematic as long as you have stellar conversationalists in company, but if you find the banter dwindling down, you're not going to have some cover band to fill the silence with croonings about "Sweet Caroline." This contributes to The Deli being more of a place to pre-game rather than the evening's final destination.

Don't get me wrong though. These few grievances do little to abate my newfound love for The Deli.

It's definitely a hip place to start the night and get schooled on all that alcohol has to offer, which, turns out, is more than Natty Ice.