"Coming out" is not only a crucial step for gays and lesbians but also for their loved ones, members of a discussion panel hosted by the Gay Affirming Interfaith Network (GAIN) said last night.

"Family members with gay relatives are the people who really need to come out," GAIN Chair Kerry Wiessman and discussion host said, adding this support is a major step in making a gay or lesbian person feel accepted.

About 20 community members attended the discussion held at the State College Municipal Building, each with a unique coming out experience, whether it be his or her own or that of a friend or relative.

The panel encouraged community members to ask questions and share their experiences with coming out, particularly how it has affected their friendships and family dynamic.

Panel member Mark Hayes, minister for the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, said it is okay for people to experience negative feelings when a friend or family comes out to them.

"You may have awkward feelings," he said.

"Experience them, then find ways to work through them," he said.

However, Wiessman said gays and lesbians must also accept the reality that some people are not ready to embrace homosexuality.

"I don't know if it's a goal of ours to push them where they don't want to be," she said.

Allies President and panel member Christy Merchant discussed a controversial opinion letter printed in The Daily Collegian yesterday that referred to a photo of a gay and lesbian couple kissing at Penn State, published Tuesday, as "disgusting" and "pathetic."

"This was a very personal attack on queer people at Penn State," Merchant said. "It was probably the worst most hateful letter to the editor I've ever seen."

Panel member Caroline Sheehan, co-president of the Gay Straight Alliance at State College High, said despite challenges more young people are accepting gays and lesbians.

"Time is really on our side," Sheehan said. "It takes a lot of time, but we're going in the right direction."

After the discussion, community member Katie Campbell, who had shared her coming out experience with the audience, said she was pleased to see a variety of people attend the event.

"It was very touching to see people of all ages ... in their journey through acceptance," she said.