I apologize, for I have selfishly harbored the solution to your problem for some time now. I have watched you emerge from meetings all winter, only to tell me you that your two sides cannot agree.

I have had a similar experience and thus, a suggestion.

When I was younger, my brother and I had similar debates over which one of us was entitled to sit shotgun. Sometimes we too were left locked out until we could make a decision.

In the past months, you have similarly swapped your respective proposals, for and against, a salary cap.

You both stamped the others with your disapproval and refused to budge.

And a great many people have suffered as a result.

Sadly, you have wasted each other's time and I have had to watch the NBA. I know it boils down to money, but selfishly it should boil down to me -- the fan.

The solution: mom.

You can cram all your mediators into one room and they still would not possess this woman's negotiating experience.

For my brother and I, she came up with the concept that a trip to the store ran in both directions and could be shared. Who's the woman for the job? Mrs. Wilma McNabb, of course.

The whole country knows that Mrs. McNabb has the last word on any dispute and can turn linebackers into puppy dogs with her eyes.

So use your press conference to announce Mrs. McNabb's hiring instead of the season's cancellation.