We live in a "touch-me-not" culture. It's an unspoken rule of sorts that people don't touch on a regular basis -- touching is reserved almost purely for family, significant others and close friends.

Airlines constantly advertise newer planes that have bigger seats because people don't want to touch the stranger sitting beside them.

On the Loop, people will stand instead of sitting in the seat next to a fellow student.

People rush to be early to class so they can secure an aisle seat and place a coat or backpack on the seat next to them.

Our society as a whole does not encourage friendly acquaintances to hug regularly nor does it encourage friends to greet one another with a kiss on the cheek as is common in other cultures.

We take personal space very seriously in this country -- unless someone happens to have visible body art.

I was completely appalled the first time someone I didn't know tried to sneak a peak at one of my tattoos. I was standing in line at a store, zoning out, when I felt someone's cold fingers graze my back as they lifted the back of my shirt to the base of my ribcage.

I turned around and was face-to-face with some strange girl I'd never seen before in my life.

She grinned at me and explained that she could see a little bit of my tattoo poking out from under my shirt and wanted to see the whole thing.

Thank God she didn't see some of my below-the-belt tattoo sticking out or I'd have been publicly de-pantsed by the same clammy hand.

It seems like ever since that day, I can't get away from people helping themselves to a view of whatever tattoo has caught their eye as it pokes innocently out from under my sleeve or pant leg.

Strangers constantly ignore my need for personal space -- and hygiene -- as they rub their grubby hands against my skin in a haze of curiosity.

The worst, though, is when people touch my Monroe piercing on the left side of my upper lip.

You read that correctly: Random people feel the need to poke me in the face because there's a stud in it.

My tattoos are one thing, but for a person I have never met to touch a piece of metal that goes through a part of my body -- that is actually inside my skin -- is not only weird, it's friggin' gross.

Welcome to what is just another day in the life of a person who has visible body art.

I wish that five tattoos and three piercings ago, someone would have told me that people are so fascinated by body modifications that they lose their self-control and their manners. I guess that by getting a tattoo or piercing, I nonverbally gave up my rights to my body and the personal space it occupies.

I wish that someone would have told me that though the process of getting body art is clean; the people who would incessantly fondle me afterwards are not.

By no means am I a shy or prudish person. I'm more than willing to share my body art with people, but I think I deserve some sort of request on their part.

For people who just want to look at my tattoos, I think I can settle for a proper introduction and a polite request. You know, tell me your name and ask me if I'd mind showing you my tattoos before you just start yanking on my clothes.

As far as people who want to physically touch my tattoos or my piercings, I'll have to issue some sort of request form.

The first section will be a brief personal history where I'll ask for your full name, date of birth, address, medical history and a detailed list of your own body art.

The second section will be a 250-word essay outlining why you feel compelled to touch me. I will also attach a disclaimer here that my tattoos are not scratch 'n sniff; nor are my piercings buttons, levers or switches that control my limbs.

You'll need to initial both of these statements to show that you have read and understood them.

The final section will be a list of things you will be required to do prior to touching me:

1) Wash your hands. Twice. Under my supervision.

2) Put on a latex (polyurethane if you're allergic) glove.

3) Show me the body art you listed in section one of the application.

If you satisfactorily fill out sections one and two, and if you agree to the conditions of section three, we'll both sign on the dotted line in front of a Notary Public.

After the application process is complete, you're more than welcome to touch my tattoos and piercings under the watchful eye of a legal witness for a period of time not exceeding five minutes.