While I think that Valentine's Day is a rather stupid holiday that exists only for the sake of consumerism (which I, clearly, shamefully support) and needy women, I do most enjoy the large amounts of pink that seem to temporarily take over the country around Feb. 14. So all feelings about the holiday aside, I have compiled a list of my five favorite pink things.
5. Plump pink
stuffed animals
First off, yes, they have to be hefty, for who wants a slim stuffed hippo to hug? I make no apologies for my overdue adoration of stuffed animals and can't imagine a better more fitting gift on this strange yet pink holiday. Give your lover or friend a corpulent pink pig, monkey, elephant, or bear so that next time you piss them off, at least they have something cute to hold.
4. Penn State gear
in baby pink
Why be so traditional? T-shirts, caps, hoodies, sweats, pillows and bedspreads all just look so much lovelier pink. It's obvious to me that Penn State colors should have been pink and white. And on that note, so should the clouds and sky.
3. Pink shoes
How delightful it is to gaze down at my feet and see something splendidly pink adorning them. Sneakers, pumps, stilettos or boots; light pink, dark pink, hot pink, purple-pink, magenta pink, red pink; pick whatever style and shade pink you are and strut your hot stuff.
2. Victoria's Secret
PINK Collection
So cute and comfy I can't even express. This new line of cotton bras is so fun, girly and pink that it makes me want to create a PINK religion. More affordable then the popular Angels, Body, or Very Sexy collections, PINK offers padded and T-shirt bras in white, gray, blue and -- of course -- pink colors. And some of them have pink polka dotted and striped material on the inside, just for you. I just love her, Victoria, such a sweetheart, always thinking comfort and pinkness.
1. Pink Diamonds
Wishful thinking, what can I say. Obnoxiously large pink diamonds are the rarest and most expensive gems on planet Earth. In a perfect world these most spectacular gems would go not to the purely richest of women but rather the most exquisite women -- i.e. me and some of you.
But for now the world is painfully imperfect so I'll just have to stick to plain old white diamonds.
