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NEWS
[ Wednesday, Feb. 9, 2005 ]

Children find brotherly and sisterly love
Pooling resources to help

Collegian Staff Writer

CORRECTION: A caption incorrectly stated the title of Michelle Daubet. She is an intern for Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS).
A caption should of referred to Ali Turley as a case manager for BBBS. She was playing in the pool with one of the program's participants.
Updated Feb. 10, 2005 at 11:50 a.m.

Editor's note: The confidentiality policy of Big Brothers Big Sisters requires that we do not disclose the last names of the program’s participants.

It's the weekend, and Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS) of Centre County is taking a group trip to the State College YMCA for an afternoon of swimming, air hockey, rock wall climbing and more. Calls of "Marco" and "Polo" echo through the indoor pool while a furious game of foosball ensues next door in the activity room.

"I'm not going near the rock wall," one small boy said, spending his time in the pool. "It's too high up and I'm afraid the rope will snap."

This day is like any other for BBBS, an organization that has spent the past 30 years aiming to match youth ages 5 to 18 who have "added stressors" -- such as poverty, single parent homes, divorce and the like -- with positive role models, young and old.

Although the program currently has about 100 active volunteers -- about 80 percent of which are Penn State students -- acting as "Bigs," it has nearly three times as many "Littles."

"Recruitment is hard," case manager Kristen Hazlett said matter-of-factly, adding that most people are fearful of making the requested nine-month commitment to the program.

The stories behind BBBS are both happy and sad, but always very human. Whether it's the case managers who run the show to the best of their abilities, the parents of the Littles in the program, or the Bigs that make the difference, everyone has their own story to tell.

A decade ago, Alicia's mom, Tammy, knew her family's life needed to change. Her marriage was failing and Alicia, just 6 at the time, was shriveling up socially at school while simultaneously dealing with a newly diagnosed learning disability.

Doing what was best for Alicia, Tammy enrolled her in BBBS and shortly thereafter divorced her husband.

"A friend of ours recommended the program," Tammy recalled. "We felt it would get her out more and help her get used to going out with other people."

Ten years later, Alicia, now a boisterous 16-year-old, is still a Little and Tammy, now 42, has a better hold on life. They live with Alicia's grand-mother and Tammy works as a greeter at Wal-Mart. Alicia has had four supportive Big Sisters over the years, Tammy said, who have all come through Penn State.

"She actually cried when she found out her last Big Sister was going to graduate school," Tammy said. "But her new one is a good match. You'd think they're real sisters. They even have nicknames for each other -- Whiny and Grumpy."

Tammy went on to say that the BBBS program has, for all intents and purposes, saved her daughter's life.

PHOTO: Jessie Bright
PHOTO: Jessie Bright
Ali Turley, coordinator of the Big Brother Big Sister program, plays in the pool with her Little.


"My daughter wouldn't have made it through without [the program]," she said. "She's learned a lot and opened up a lot, especially in the last couple of years."

The program played an especially pivotal role in Alicia's life when issues in her family arose that she only felt comfortable talking about with her last Big. Although it led to further family turmoil, Tammy said it ultimately helped save her family.

"I can't think of anything I'd change about the program," she said. "I do think it needs to be advertised more, because I don't think most people know it exists here."

Limited resources are often the most valuable, and the case couldn't be truer with regard to Bigs.

"It's definitely rewarding," said Maria Denisova (sophomore-secondary education), who is Alicia's newest Big. "I've never met anyone like Alicia's family."

While Maria and Alicia have only been matched since last fall, the two have built a fast and close relationship. They go to the mall, watch movies and hang out. It's "everyday stuff," Denisova said.

Recently, Denisova showed Alicia a little taste of life in the dorms, which Alicia decided she wasn't looking forward to.

"I would rather have home-cooked food than dorm food any day," Alicia said.

Even more rare than a Big is a male Big.

Benjamin Deweese (junior-psychology) is one of a handful in the local chapter of BBBS.

"I liked the potential of what I could do here," he said. "I just talked to Ali [Turley, a case manager] and found out some info and went from there. Basically, I just felt like if I could make a difference in some kid's life, then it's worth it."

Deweese has been matched with his Little, Sean, for almost two years. If it's an outdoor activity, the two have done it -- tubing on Tussey Mountain, fishing, football -- and the list goes on. Skiing is next on the list.

"I've seen him make a lot of changes," he said. "His self-confidence has improved tremendously; he's opened up to people more and he's just coming out of his shell."

Deweese stressed the need for more male volunteers, and echoed Hazlett's notion that a fear of responsibility holds some potential volunteers back.

"You have to make a commitment," he said. "You have to realize that someone is dependent on you. You're making a relationship with someone who needs it."

If there is one thing more simultaneously demanding and fulfilling than having one child, it's having 275 of them. Enter Hazlett, Turley and Vernel Smith, the three case managers for BBBS.

Their days are full of recruiting and training new volunteers, making appropriate matches between Bigs and Littles, doing crisis intervention among families and organizing about three monthly activities to ensure that even those without a Big still have something to participate in.

The recommendations for children in need of a Big can come from anyone from parents to school counselors, but participation can not take place without the consent of the child and his or her guardian.

For Turley, 25, working for BBBS was an obvious career choice right out of college.

"I grew up in the area and always had an interest in working with kids," she said. "When it came time to decide what to do with my life, I said 'why not stay in the area and give back to the community?' "

As a mother of two, Smith's path differed quite a bit from Turley's, but both had the same goals in mind. Also from the State College area, Vernel became a probation officer in Lancaster County before returning to the area.

"My husband changed jobs and we ended up back here," Smith said. "I don't really need to work but I wanted to do something along the same lines and [help others]."

A desire to help doesn't always prevent the sobering moments that go along with the job, though.

"Working here, seeing some of the conditions that the kids live in here, it's really shocking," Turley said.

The program started 30 years ago and is currently funded by the Centre County Youth Service Bureau (YSB). A non-profit organization providing programs aimed to help youths and families around the area, YSB is headquartered in a cozy, three-story, house-turned-office on South Fraser Street.

The YSB has hit a snag as of late, with funding being cut for its programs this year. The case managers blame government cutbacks for the lack of funds, saying that less money is being given to prevention and mentoring programs in recent years.

"YSB ... also runs off of grants and donations from people in the community but it costs a lot of money to run a program that supports so many kids," Turley said.

The case managers said the program will go on with or without funds.

"We'll find a way to keep the program running at the capacity that it's at, no matter what," Turley said.

There's an emergency of sorts at the YMCA. The place is short-staffed, leaving a limited number of qualified spotters at the rock wall and dozens of anxious kids waiting to climb.

When notified of the situation, it's Turley to the rescue as she jumps out of the pool, quickly dries off and dresses, and is acting as a backup spotter in a matter of minutes, with nothing more than a high-spirited "just another day on the job" attitude.

The kids are happy, and vicariously, so are those who are helping.

"[These events] are important, especially for kids who aren't matched because they still get to participate," said BBBS intern Michelle Daubet (senior-crime, law and justice). "One girl who isn't matched said she was having so much fun and I think that really gives her something to look forward to."

When it's time to go home, it's obvious that two hours of fun and games was not enough.


PHOTO: Jessie Bright
PHOTO: Jessie Bright
Big Sister Michelle Daubet (senior-crime, law and justice) plays with a Little Brother at a Big Brothers Big Sisters swimming party at the YMCA.
 



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