I loathed going to church when I was little. Church was right up there with my mom making me eat lima beans and forcing me to be nice to my little sister.

The church was too cold, the priest was too old and smelled like mothballs, the sermon was too long and worst of all -- I had to dress up. That killed it for me. I was stuck watching the ceiling fans go around and around instead of paying attention. When I was in fifth grade, my family stopped going. I guess they got sick of the mothball smell, too.

That's the weird thing. It seems like everyone who finds out I'm a member of a Christian group on campus thinks I've been a Christian all my life. It's not that I'm hard-headed or stubborn, but I had to learn my lesson the hard way.

I went to my first Campus Crusade for Christ (or Cru, as we like to call it) meeting halfway through my freshman year. But I didn't go because I wanted to learn about God. I was just...lonely. I was homesick and my grades were so low they made me nauseous. I'm sure my drinking and excessive partying didn't help (three nights a week).

After explaining this to my dorm's program assistant, she invited me to go to Cru with her. At first, I thought she was talking about the rowing crew, and I couldn't figure out why people would want to do that at 8 p.m.

Once she clarified that there was no physical activity involved, I thought about using homework as an excuse not to go, but who was I kidding? I tagged along. But that was the only meeting I went to that year. I wasn't interested in hearing about Jesus and the effect he could have on my life just yet.

That summer, I finally made the decision that my lifestyle wasn't worth the toll it was taking on my health, my family and my grades. I was going to do something about it, but I wasn't exactly sure where to start. I remembered my first Cru meeting and thought I'd find my answer there. Lucky for me, I found it.

I'm a very visual person. I have to see something to really learn about it. There's a book I'm reading now called Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller. In it, Miller says: "Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way."

That's exactly how I learned about my faith. I went to the meetings on Thursday nights, I met girls who loved me for me, I got plugged into a Bible study and I even went on a retreat. Okay, I'll admit that the reason I went was because there was an incredibly attractive guy that was also going who I wanted to get to know better (we're dating, so I'd say it worked out well).

As I grew, I saw these new people living out their faith every day. I saw them love their faith, love Jesus and love me. By watching them, I saw what my life could be like.

Granted, they weren't perfect. None of us are. Jesus liked me anyway and so did they. I saw them reach out to me and love me like no one else ever had--and they barely knew me!

Slowly but surely, my homesickness and my old lifestyle began to fade away. I finally felt included and accepted.

I'd like to point out that not everyone was happy with my decision. My parents thought I joined a cult and asked if I had to participate in any cultural rituals. I think they had been watching some special on A& E. I lost some friends along the way, too, mostly because they felt like I had become "too good" for them. I have to admit it still hurts, but I know I made the right decision.

When I look back to my freshman year, I thought my challenge was to be included in a group who had the same beliefs as me. As a graduating senior, I now realize that my real challenge is to leave Cru behind.

But I also realize that my faith isn't wrapped up in an organization. Cru is just a facilitator--my faith is ready to go with me, wherever I end up in life. I'm not sure where I'm going yet, but I feel ready to face it now more than ever.