First off, I'd like to dissuade some of you against watching the 2002 French film Irréversible. Most of you actually. You shouldn't watch Irréversible if...

...you prefer movies to be "safe" and/or politically correct

You know that warm, comforting feeling you get watching Jimmy Stewart run through Bedford Falls yelling "Merry Christmas" ecstatically at the end of It's a Wonderful Life? You will get no such appeasement from Irréversible. Gaspar Noé's dark exploration of violence seems to linger, at moments, in the ninth circle of hell.

No positive message emerges to counterbalance the darker moments, nor does the material veer anywhere near "acceptable" modes of representation.

Depending on one's particular hang-up, it's possible to call Irréversible racist, sexist, or homophobic and I'm not prepared to argue against any of these interpretations.

Those who can stomach this potentially problematic aspect of the film should also prepare themselves for some of the most disturbing images I've personally witnessed in a dramatic film, in one scene in particular.

I won't say much about the details of this scene, beyond that its motivation is so nuanced and its impact so intense that it will probably alienate half the people who make it far enough into Irréversible to see it. The other half, myself included, will think it's one of the most brilliantly conceived scenes in recent memory.

...you prefer a conventional movie-watching experience

You know how at even the tensest moments of Armageddon you just had a feeling that the reckless, but fun-loving drillers would pull through in the end and save the world?

Well, you should jettison such conventional narrative expectations while watching Irréversible. This movie doesn't require audience permission to plunge towards its subterranean depths. Irréversible's attitude is that it will plunge where it pleases and if the audience doesn't like it, screw 'em.

It's safe to say I haven't seen another narrative quite like this: its scenes unfold backwards in time as long-takes (i.e. no cuts) of about eight minutes in length, captured for the most part with a visually nauseating cartwheel-style photography. If Memento and Natural Born Killers had a child/hell-spawn it would probably look a lot like Irreversible.

...you don't like having to "think" about movies

Watching Irréversible can be a taxing experience, because of the unique way it plays with time and the connections it requires the viewer to make that are not spelled out in detail.

The ending doesn't wrap the rest of the movie up in a neat bundle in the way that most of us are used to seeing. Understanding the film's significance requires careful analytical leaps supplemented by intertextual connections to film history -- connections that are not exhaustively spelled-out like in the boring dénouement of Vanilla Sky.

Anybody left?

You'll notice I haven't dwelled too much on the positive aspects of the film, but that's because writing about it really won't do Irréversible justice.

Its glories are experiential and you'll have to ride this tidal wave of a movie to see what I mean. So silence your cell phone, turn off the lights, crank