Until re-cently, this winter's mildness had brought the prospect of global warming to forefront of probably at least a few people's minds. So I got to thinking: What would life be like when the polar ice caps melt?

I realized it might not be as dire as the prognosticators suggest. Let me explain. Take NYC ... please.

Seriously, though, it doesn't take a climatologist to predict that the coastlines will be the first places to be ceded to the abominable ocean. In particular, this means NYC.

I began to contemplate what life would be like without the old Big Apple. Immediately it became apparent -- no more New York Yankees.

Hallelujah.

George Steinbrenner will no long be able to run his megalomaniacal evil empire in the largest city of the empire state.

Instead, I envision that he will be forced to move the team inland to Albany... the Albany Yankees. Yeah, I like the sound of that.

No longer will the Randy Johnsons, Alex Rodriguezs, Garry Sheffields, Kevin Browns, Hideki Matsuis, Jason Giambis, MikeMussinas, Carl Pavanos, Javier Vazquezs, Roger Clemens ... eh, you get the idea ... no longer will they be enticed to come to the city that doesn't sleep, because it will, in fact, be sleeping under 50 feet of water.

And who would want to play in Albany? I've never been there personally, but it sounds like pretty boring place.

Perhaps more importantly, though, the revenue streams Steinbrenner once had in the city will have been replaced with real streams, ergo he will no longer be able to finance the domination of baseball. But then, what about the Yankee's foil; the Red Sox?

Won't the same fate befall the city on the bay?

Well, in a similar fashion to those supporters of the former presidential candidate who hails from the same state, most Boston fans last year were not so much fans of the Red Sox as they were opponents to the Yankees. So, akin to the next Democratic Party nomination process, we will have to find a new candidate team to oppose the Yankees.

I suggest the Kansas City Royals who, continuing with the political analogy, would be the equivalent of a Dennis Kucinich.

I mean, when you think about it, although Kansas City is short, balding, and not very charismatic, it has much better ideas and populist policies than either Boston or New York.

Thus we can list the loss of the Red Sox under the column of "no biggie."

What will this new, yankeeless world look like, you might ask? Imagine an entire episode of Sportscenter without mention of the Yankees.

A show devoid of Peter Gammons reporting on the Yankees' pending acquisition of the Milwaukee Brewers. Now of course, every once in a while Torre and Co. might make it on another team's highlight.

But these won't be your father's Yankees; he probably wouldn't recognize them because a change of locale of course necessitates a change in uniform.

I suggest Penn State's old colors, pink and black, to go with what Governor Schwarzenegger might label their new "girly-man" line-up. Also, a la Costanza, perhaps they could be manufactured from a more breathable, roomy fabric --like cotton.

Just make sure they don't shrink in the dryer. And of course their moniker can no longer be the Bronx bombers; I think the "Albany groundouts" (I should have checked the Elias sports bureau for alliterative baseball terms beginning with "a") has a nice ring to it.

Speaking of ground-outs, to remedy their infielder's woes, the Yankees will probably hire Tom Emanski as a fielder's coach or at the very least purchase his defensive drills video. Finally, due to their decline in talent, they will no longer be Pedro Martinez's daddy, but instead be relegated to second cousin status.

Yes, the Yankees will finally have to operate on the principle of parsimony and attempt to build their own strong farm system, rather than plucking the fruits of other teams' labors.

Not even the combination of Derek Williams and Justin King could right this desultory ship. So if this exercise in global forecasting has shown us anything, it is to not heed the environmentalists' admonitions of catastrophe, because burning greenhouse gases is indeed looking out for the best interests of our children, leaving them with a better, Yankeeless world in which to live.

Lets all cross our fingers and hope this global warming thing happens.