My dad watches The Weather Channel a lot. I don't get it. It's weather, you know? What more could be said about it? Watching all those people sitting there blabbering on about the wind currents and getting way excited about the slush in Chicago's street gutters is just so ... dull.

The same has been said about the Food Network, I'm sure. See, I watch the Food Network more than any other channel (possibly with the exception of ABC Family, but that's just 'cause of the Gilmore Girls repeats. Oh, and those made-for-TV chick flicks with former WB and Disney Channel stars). Anyway, the Food Network ... y'all could call it boring. Any criticism you may have, I've heard it before.

But it's not boring. I declare that the Food Network is the best damn station on the telly. And my apartment gets, like, 250 channels through our obscenely sprawling digital cable, so that's a pretty weighty honor.

Do you dare question this distinction? Have you yet to experience the glory that is the Food Network? Read on, folks.

To start off with, there is not a single crappy show on the Food Network; although, I have to admit that Iron Chef is pretty sucky and occasionally nauseating with those fish eyes and all, but that stuff seems to be on purpose.

The rest of the shows though? Totally rad. There's the sensuous Everyday Italian; the 4 a.m. repeats of A Cook's Tour with that lush of a globe-trotting, cobra-heart-eating host Tony; The Best Of, featuring Penn State grad Jill Cordes; the culinary travelogue $40 a Day with relentlessly perky Rachael Ray; a bunch of programs starring ruddy, easy-on-the-eyes chef Tyler Florence; and, my god, Good Eats with Alton Brown, who's like a male Julia Child on speed with a postmodern sense of humor and Bill Nye the Science Guy's molecular enthusiasm. You have to see this dude to believe this show.

These food-centric programs take almost no brain power to comprehend, you don't have to devote any uninterrupted portion of your precious time to following some week-after-week dramatic narrative, and they're all about something that every person in the world can relate to -- food.

We all eat it (well, most of us), so it's not like trying to feign interest in those plastic surgery shows.

I've never had a boob job and I don't want one, so I have no curiosity to watch, thank you.

However, I eat food many times throughout the day and plan to continue with this arrangement for a very long time (however, I do feel the need to insert a testimony that I am not a plump person -- just a slender gal with a disproportionately huge appetite).

Another thumbs-up is that the Food Network reminds you that food is a good thing. Supposedly America is suffering from an obesity epidemic. And I don't doubt that.

But I do think that all this low-carb crap and Dr. Phil weight loss advice has obscured the fact that food is an awesome and beautiful part of life.

Of course flourless chocolate tortes aren't incredible for you to consume on a daily basis, but whatever. My motto is: Anything in moderation, except perhaps cocaine. The Food Network reminds us of that. It glorifies food.

Food, hurrah! It takes the spotlight off of attaining the "perfect" figure and refocuses on the joy of preparing crostini, sharing kettle corn, serving up orange-cranberry-sage stuffing and chowing down on the spicy buffalo onion wings with blue cheese dipping sauce.

There are a couple shows that focus on healthy eating (whole wheat is good for you; who knew?), but for the most part there's no one telling you food is the Antichrist or pressing you to subconsciously question what you put in your mouth.

Also, the chefs and hosts tend to look like normal mortal human beings -- not the liposuctioned blondes and Ryan Seacrest look-a-likes you'll catch if you flip a couple channels up or down. So that's refreshing.

So, I guess, if you're as fond of food as I profess to be, you might just enjoy salivating over a photogenic British chap whipping up roasted sea bass and hosts perkier than Paige Davis letting you in on the secret life of muffins. The Food Network's better than another episode of Room Raiders, at least.

Check out www.foodtv.com for when shows air, as well as loads of infinitely yummy recipes.