So it's that time again. Time to bust out the Pilgrim dioramas and the construction paper turkeys you made by tracing your hand.

That time of the year when we celebrate 300 years of Native American oppression, and give thanks to those who traded us our land for a few beads and a jug of whiskey.

That's right, look out -- it's Thanksgiving time.

Man, I love Thanksgiving. It's definitely in my top 10 holidays of every year. What more could you ask for? You get to hang out with all those family members you've spent most of your life avoiding, you get to watch the Detroit Lions lose another football game and you get to take part in the glorious, glorious gluttony.

Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, that red blobby stuff and pumpkin pie. The anticipation is killing me.

Before I get ahead of myself though, I'd like to remind all of you that Thanksgiving exists for a reason -- it isn't just about the (queue salivating) turkey and pumpkin pie. We convene on the last Thursday of every November to show thanks. To be grateful for the things we have and the people we know.

So in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I thought I'd let Penn State know all the things I am thankful for. Everything the university has done for me in the last year to make sure I give them a lot of money.

First of all, let me say thank you to the men and women of the Housing office here at Penn State. Without them, I might not have had to begin this year in supplemental housing -- an experience I truly value. It taught me dorm life can be worse, five alarm clocks going off in succession is annoying and that I should never, ever live in one room with five other guys ever again -- you know, in case I ever get chosen to star in Real World: Dorm Room.

I'd like to thank the football team for being especially awful this year. Seriously, thanks guys, now I don't feel so bad about not going to any of the games. Just think, I could have been another one of those poor souls lamenting the time they've wasted watching the offense not score points.

Also, a big shout out to the people who re-vamped Redifer commons this year. Now I'm compelled to eat awful fast food every day of the week. I was looking a little thin, and it's starting to get colder out, so that extra layer of insulation (read: fat) will probably come in handy.

Thanks to the Office of Physical Plant (OPP), for spending about $34,000 on scooters so your people can get across campus, instead of, say, using that money to fix the sidewalks so I don't break my ankles. I would have thought that since students get around fine on their feet or on bicycles, the same would be true for you guys. Obviously, I was sorely mistaken. Touché, OPP. Touché.

Thank you to the Undergraduate Student Government, for once again providing The Daily Collegian (and consequently, me) with material for the Opinion page. We needed a shot in the arm, and a bunch of kids playing politician never fails to amuse.

Thanks to the people who took all the classes I wanted before I could schedule. Because of you, I get to start my day with an 8 a.m. Spanish class next semester.

Thanks to my professors, who decided it would be a great idea to give me my grades the day after late drop.

Thanks to the university police officer who wouldn't let me into my building last week when I forgot my wallet. I got to breathe the 15 degree air of State College for another half hour before someone let me inside.

Thanks to Penn State Napster, which took up 10 megabytes of space on my hard drive and has provided me with zero music worth listening to.

Thank you to the people who thought up those THONSTRONG things, because, you know, everyone was really, really clamoring for a new fashion accessory after they'd already gotten their Ugg Boots and their LIVESTRONG bracelets.

Finally, I guess I've got to thank the students of the College of Engineering for giving me a target for my nihilistic, lazy, slacker ruminations.

Thanks to you guys, I now know that I'm destined for failure, and actually, that's a very freeing idea when you stop to think about it.

And that's what you all should do as you sit down to your turkey and mashed potatoes -- just take a second to think about all the wonderful things in your life, and how thankful you are for them.

From the people who pee on the toilet seat to the drivers who don't use turn signals -- these are things that make every day worth experiencing, and it is important, necessary even, to give them their just desserts.

Pumpkin pie, anyone?