School starts, things get rolling, midterms creep up, Halloween happens.

Then there is a momentary pause that lasts about five minutes, and suddenly, bam! People start talking about holiday shopping.

Then, out of nowhere, a frozen turkey appears in the freezer where the ice cream used to be. And meanwhile, throughout these few weeks, everything from newspapers, television and radio become infested with ads for coming "sales this" and "sales that." And then, finally, the infamous day arrives, and it's Black Friday.

Every mall becomes a battleground, and only the fastest, strongest-willed and she who is most willing to dive for a 40-percent-off Express sweater survive.

It's a day where strength, determination and feistiness are tested. But this gift from the shopping gods can easily be wasted if you don't go about it the right way, and you either wait too long and don't make it out in time, or you lull around the mall without a goal.

First off, even though the post-Turkey Day and lethargic tendencies are attempting to sway you otherwise, the day after Thanksgiving is prime shopping, and you need to get to it.

The ads -- for once -- aren't lying. The sales really are praise worthy.

Beware: Don't be tempted to get up at 10 a.m., eat some pie, get back into bed and then mosey on down to the mall.

This may be appropriate on any other ol' holiday, but not this one.

If you choose this unwise (tsk, tsk) method, then you're setting yourself up to be left buying the same things you'll be eating -- leftovers.

Speaking of scraps, for several reasons, when you get to the mall, don't be tempted to run straight toward the outrageously cheap summer stand instead of the fall/winter sale rack.

For starters, you're wasting time; for every second you waste looking at floofy skirts or a trucker hat, someone somewhere is discovering a 25 percent off off-the-shoulder angora sweater, or worse, 30 percent off pink stiletto boots!

Second, I'm willing to bet my all-things-pink piggy bank that the stuff being sold ridiculously cheap is the gear that was super trendy this summer. And with fashion, the rule of thumb generally tends to be what was white-hot one season won't be so flamin' in the next. FYI, Von Dutch hats are done and outta here like Britney Spears' career.

Next, you can't forget this is the one day on which you will find great deals in practically every store, whether you're looking for pants, shirts, cheese, jewelry, coats, toys or one-day expired frozen turkeys.

So don't spend your time in one place. Walk around and mingle with all things cheap and embrace this day where it's practical and even wise to splurge.

And lastly, be happy and give thanks; today your credit card will only max out a little.

And don't you forget, there'll be plenty of mashed squash to celebrate with later.