And not just punishing to the audience; Wells read a bit of the GWAR's tour rider (a document that explains what the band requires of the venue before the performance), then paused at the mention of putting down some kind of protective coating under concertgoers' feet.
"This protects the flooring from the blood spew," Wells said.
"That could be your headline. 'Spew don't know what you're missing.' "
Tyler Kulp, employee of City Lights Records, 316 E. College Ave., knows all about the blood spew.
"I saw GWAR once before about five years ago," he said."I can certainly say their show is unlike any other show you'll see."
Because of the audience participation?
"I want to say it's audience participation, but it's more like audience abuse," Kulp said.
"In a fun way, though."
He also offered this warning to anyone brave enough to take in Monday's gig.
"Be prepared to leave covered in some kind of slime," Kulp said.
Though GWAR's music is in a category all its own, Phil Labonte of openers All That Remains said his band is just as hard to pin down, although perhaps less insane.
"The easiest thing to say is that we're a metal-core band," he said. "But we cover a lot of groups, maybe more than the other two bands on the bill. We just try to be a good quality music group in the first place and play what we play."
But how is it touring with such a bizarre headliner?
"It's been cool. GWAR fans can be a little fickle; sometimes you get things yelled at you or you hear a 'we want GWAR' chant," Labonte said
"I'm a GWAR fan, too, though, so I understand where those kids are coming from, and I have the microphone when they're yelling, so I always win."
Labonte said that this tour with GWAR is just one step on All That Remains' gradual climb to the top.
"It's a very slow building process," Labonte said.
"If a band ever tells you they've made it overnight, they're lying. But we're gonna tour for the next year or so until we can say to ourselves 'OK, now we have this fan base out there, so now we can put out another record and see what it does.'"
Wells knows plenty about giving bands exposure, and Monday's show isn't the first time he's helped host the twisted circus that is GWAR live.
"Years ago, when I first started booking bands, one of the first big shows I was ever involved in was this band The X-Cops, which was actually the guys from GWAR touring under another name," Wells said.
"The show did such great business that it drew a lot of national attention for the venue. In a weird kind of way, GWAR is an important side-note to us getting all the national bands we get at Crowbar."
Wells insists that a GWAR show could appeal to metalheads and Britney fans alike, provided they know what they're getting into.
"It's not for the faint of heart," Wells said.
"But it's all in the name of entertainment, and people really enjoy it."
