"They ask me what I'd like written about me when I'm gone. I hope they write that I made Penn State a better place -- not just that I was a good football coach." Joe Paterno, Penn State head football coach.

Have you heard of this man? Yes, this man once meant something to a lot of people.

He was more than a football coach.

He was a great humanitarian, it was said, a man of humility and honor.

An educator. An architect of "The Grand Experiment." An iconic figure of distinct appearance. And the paradigm of all things still good and holy in college sports.

Yes, that was him.

It's washing away now, as he becomes a contradiction of himself.

Now, people are saying, louder than ever after an embarrassing 6-4 loss to Iowa, that he needs to be axed, though, deep down, they feel bad for him.

They can't help but believe those wonderful qualities that still remain.

But they fail to see there are reasons why he stays. Reasons that are not so honorable or humble or grand or otherwise transcendent, and if they could all be honest with themselves, they could see how it unravels.

They would see that he does not stay here out of benevolence. He stays because he is too proud to leave a failure. Because he is arrogant. Because he is selfish. And because he is all these things rolled into an egomaniac.

After each increasingly pathetic loss, he has ignored what's really wrong. He'll say it's tough luck, execution, poise, whatever -- it doesn't matter.

The catch phrases don't mean anything anymore.

Yesterday at his press conference he finally admitted he doesn't know what's wrong.

Which is disconcerting, but, still, don't suggest he do anything differently.

Ask him why he refuses to hire a special teams coach or why he needs to get the ball to utility player Michael Robinson or why he doesn't hire an offensive coordinator that's actually in charge of the offense, and he'll dismiss you. "Don't question me," he has said. Or "I've coached for 55 years."

Even after all the recurring failure, he can't bring himself to believe that there just might be a better way.

Arrogance personified.

But what's worse is the selfishness threatening to truly tarnish the legacy.

He is fast approaching a point where he can only harm the university he said he is so proud of helping.

The wealthy alumni donors -- those who write the checks with the zeros that allow the athletic department and this university to function -- won't take much more of this, and then what?

How far will it go before he sees damage has been done? Are less-fortunate non-revenue sports going to be slashed?

Is denying opportunities to athletes like swimmers and gymnasts worth it, so he can have that "one more great team" he so often says he desires?

And then there are his own players, who have this cloud of losing over their heads as they feel what it's like to be booed by 108,000 people and to be the sorrow of a once-proud program .

It isn't fair to blame the players over him, even if they aren't talented enough. He offered them scholarships, telling them they could compete at this level. High school boys can't be blamed for chasing a dream, after all.

You wonder if he ever stops to think about it: how he makes young men endure demeaning stretches of losing because he's too proud to give up.

And it's true his commitment is admirable, but it doesn't make him any less self-absorbed. This season is simply about him proving to himself that he can do what he could 20 years ago. There doesn't seem to be a great concern for others.

Still, it's all the others who could pay for his actions.

Whether the university is better off not having him as the football coach doesn't even sound like a question anymore. The sliver of hope is that he just doesn't realize this.

Because if he does, then all the things we've believed are good about Joe Paterno simply aren't true.