My problems with Life as We Know It have nothing to do with D.B. Sweeney.

The star of The Cutting Edge -- as well as Strange Luck, Fox's canceled masterpiece from 1995 -- is note-perfect in the role of a care-free family man with the lifelong dream of becoming a ribs cook. In fact, if the new ABC series, which debuts next Thursday, were entirely about him it might have grown to become the best show on television.

Unfortunately, Life as We Know It is not about D.B. Sweeney. It's about the sexual preoccupations of his annoying son Dino -- played by Sean Faris, who looks uncannily like a Risky Business-era Tom Cruise -- and Dino's two even-more-annoying buddies, Ben and Jonathan. "How are we expected to go to school when all we can think about is sex?" Ben asks rhetorically during one of the show's silly, confessional-address-the-camera moments.

Personally, I can't see what the lad is complaining about because, judging from the pilot, the "high school" they frequent doesn't resemble anything like reality. It's one of those institutions where the students need not worry about pesky problems like homework, projects or learning, and the ridiculously gorgeous English teacher becomes romantically interested in dorky Ben for no apparent reason.

In the midst of all this is Kelly Osbourne, playing Jonathan's pudgy, occasionally British love interest. It turns out she's not a bad actress, actually, and she makes for some of the pilot's most cheese-free moments. Unfortunately, the performances by the other girls, like much of the pilot, are remarkably dull and regressive.

But not D.B. Sweeney. He's awesome.

-- Reviewed by Nicholas Norcia