Though I wanted desperately to do so, "quit" was the dirtiest verb in my dictionary at the time.
Dizzy, sick and pale, my body was fighting a revolution against my brain to make the ridiculousness end. And, for a second, it seemed the former would win.
The battle between the two began in the time between the third and fourth events at the Penn State Lift for Life Media Challenge, held last week at Toftrees Resort. It was a miniature version of the real Lift for Life competition, an 11-event weightlifting course for teams of four football players held from 2 to 7 p.m. today at Holuba Hall.
But, as the docile Toftrees scenery taunted my aching muscles, I realized I couldn't give up -- not in front of Scott Shirley, Darien Hardy and their fellow teammates and Lift for Life competitors.
After all, Shirley, a wide receiver last year for the Nittany Lions who has since been graduated, and Hardy, a sophomore defensive back, can't quit in their families' battle with kidney cancer. Both have fathers afflicted by the disease, two of four Penn State football players from last year's squad fighting such a battle.
The third, wide receiver Josh Hannum, left a chance to start for Lions this year. Instead, the promising speedster from Strath Haven High School decided to leave Penn State for Ursinus. Playing for the Division III program closer to home puts Hannum closer to his father, Bill, who is battling both kidney cancer and multiple sclerosis.
A fourth member of the team is waging the same war, but has not yet been identified.
It's an emotional battle they fight every day, and one in which they can't wave a white flag. Hardy learned in the locker room last season that his father's condition had worsened, a crippling bit of information.
"Just to find the support in my team, from Robbie Gould, Damone Jones, Scott Shirley, Dave Costlow and other teammates, it makes you feel comfortable," Hardy said. "It encourages you and helps you get through it."
And this year, with 22 teams in the Lift for Life, that family is at least 88 people strong.
For me and my teammate, WMAJ 1450 AM radio personality Pat Boland, Jon Nabavi was there to encourage us. The former Penn State and State College High School lineman pushed us when we slowed, helped us when we slipped and caught us when we fell.
"We talk about how hard the workout is, but I think it kind of gives a greater appreciation for writing an article about it, seeing it from our perspective," said Gould, a kicker for the football team and a member of the event's public relations team.
It did instill that appreciation, but it did so more in a mental sense. The workout was the most exhausting I've ever been through, exploiting every muscle in my body to the maximum extent. But the overwhelming emotion of the event seemed to be hope.
It was the feeling that, though their fathers and their friends' fathers were ailing, these teammates could do something about it. They wouldn't quit, but instead would rally around each other for support and strength.
"There's times when we struggle through workouts, but it's events like this and the people that we're surrounded by that really help us through it," Gould said. "And I really think it can be a life-changing experience. I know it has been for me."
Let's hope it can be for those families battling the disease, too.
