Me, in two simultaneous positions of authority.

The idea 4 years ago, or even last year, would have made me snicker. Enforcing rules? Being responsible for others? Making decisions?

"I don't think so," is what I would have told you.

And yet, here I am -- not only responsible for a few reporters, but for about 40 freshmen as well.

I am the kind of person who is terrified of making a mistake -- one who fears failure to the nth degree.

To undertake two such serious positions scared the living daylights out of me.

But after much contemplation, much hopping back and forth about whether or not I'd be able to handle two responsibilities at the same time, I decided to shut my eyes, hope for the best and just do it.

Call me crazy, but I hate backing down from a challenge at the expense of being called a quitter. I guess it goes back to the days of being teased and having my hair pulled because I was the only girl on the soccer team.

I'd rather be overwhelmed than miss out on an opportunity.

Some might ask, "why on earth would you want to live with freshmen in the dorms?" Others might wonder, "why would anyone want to live at the beck and call of news writing?"

I have no easy, one-word answer. But I do know that despite many uncertainties, thus far I love both jobs.

Living among freshmen is an entirely different beast ... and I don't mean that in a derogatory sense.

In just these past two weeks, it has reminded me that people can exist outside the realm of breaking news. Trust me, that's easy to forget.

After one of the most horrific days in my brief stint as editor, a few of the girls from my floor tiptoed over to me while I was eating in the dining commons with a few other resident assistants -- and then they started singing "Happy Birthday," loudly enough to turn the heads of those around me. Granted, it wasn't my birthday, but it was just enough to make me blush, laugh and realize how lucky I am. It is, indeed, the little things that count.

Each one of the girls on my floor, most just out of high school, has a sparkling personality that truly is a joy to come home to each day. Hearing about their endeavors, their trials and triumphs, and their awesome (or not-so-awesome) professors make me chuckle.

Answering questions that I remember once asking when I was a freshman, such as how to get a fitness pass or what to do if their computer doesn't work, makes me smile.

The role of a RA, albeit hard to define, is one of friend, mother, confidante, advice-giver, companion and unfortunately, disciplinarian.

Though I just turned 20 last week, 17 and 18 years of age seem like a world away, and I can't help but wonder where the time has gone.

When I came to college, I thought I knew everything about everything, and you couldn't convince me otherwise. "My girls," as I like to call them, are fresh-faced and just beginning their journey into the unknown.

Compare that to the less cozy world of reporting, which doesn't necessarily include the niceties of friendship.

The role of an editor precedes that of friend. You're responsible for the representation of a 20,000 circulation daily. The burden of truth and accuracy rests not only with the reporter, but with editors as well. If you misquote a source, misspell a name or miss a big story, your credibility, as well as that of the paper, comes into question.

As a junior who is desperately trying to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life, desperately trying to decide if I will make the great leap and study abroad next spring, I have realized that I know next to nothing -- that there is so much to learn that it's overwhelming.

But by embracing new challenges and facing my fears, I suppose I am learning more than I would if I had settled to confining myself to a classroom education for four years.

If I had let myself be swayed by the possibility of failure, I wouldn't be an editor this summer after one semester as a staff reporter, and I certainly wouldn't have a wonderful family of 18 year olds to go home to every night.

And by the way, if you happen to get assigned to the fourth floor of Bigler Hall in East for the fall semester, well, you just met your RA.