Attention Republicans: we have you surrounded.

Next time you duck into Barnes & Noble to pick up the latest issue of Financial and Cultural Oppression of the Poor Monthly (just subscribe already!), you might see Mr. Bill Clinton signing copies of the world's longest book. When you turn on the TV, well, there you'll see that young go-getter John Kerry, who's actually looking somewhat electable these days. And, when you head to the movies to catch the latest Tom Selleck, Bo Derek or Charlton Heston flick, you'll notice a long line for some movie about an inferno or an emergency or something.

Fahrenheit 9/11, populist-at-large Michael Moore's latest tirade against things that just ain't right, is that movie. It's just as mean and biased and manipulative as you've heard. But it's also a brilliant piece of filmmaking, as important, dramatic and frightening as any story ever told on celluloid. And it makes George W. Bush look like an idiot. Well, more so.

Moore's not exactly saying anything new with Fahrenheit; this is all public domain information, the kind of stuff good liberals have been muttering under their breath for the last four years. But the fact that he's compiled it all into a single highly entertaining, reasonably informative and surprisingly persuasive document is what makes Fahrenheit 9/11 so vital. Sure it's propaganda! But the man is right on all counts, and whether or not you agree with his methods (and you should know that the film was laboriously fact-checked in the months before its release), you owe it to yourself to hear this stuff.

Why won't members of Congress send their kids off to war when they pass legislation to send the kids of their voters to Iraq? It's a fair question, and so Michael Moore asks it. What are the implications of all the ties between the Bush family and Saudi royalty? I'm certainly willing to entertain theories.

Moore examines the horrors of the Bush presidency not by pointing fingers, but by digging through facts and consulting with experts. Fahrenheit succeeds because Moore, for the most part, doesn't have to do a whole lot of opining to make a convincing point. This Bush fella has got to go.

Fahrenheit has flaws, although they're not ideological ones; Moore is occasionally too concerned with entertainment, and for a serious-minded film, there's a lot of pretty goofy jokes designed for an easy laugh. It's strange that Karl Rove's name doesn't show up in Fahrenheit, or that Moore feels compelled to ignore a lot of the verbal hypocrisy of the key players in the Bush administration, but these are ultimately minor complaints.

Moore's best decision as a filmmaker is not treating Republican voters like idiots, and that fact alone may help Fahrenheit persuade more people than it alienates. He's suggesting that we're all in this together, that we've all been duped by this administration. And no one, Republican or Democrat, could help but be moved by the portion on the film that shows the conflict in Iraq, with its harrowing pictures of wounded Iraqi civilians and the stories of the soldiers and their families fighting the war.

If only Michael Moore could make a movie explaining why we should vote for Kerry. He could call it Blind Faith! Oh well. Go see Fahrenheit. No matter what your politics, you'll like it even better than White Chicks.