If you're finishing up this semester and your worst-case scenario is still surviving college life, then you're probably too late for the college edition of The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook, the newest in the infamous series written by Joshua Piven, David Borgenicht and Jennifer Worick.
But if you're up for a few laughs, or even a few helpful tips, then this nifty guide could be a prime addition to your coffee-table-book collection. Plus, it even comes with super-lame illustrated instructions, just like the ones you find in airplane emergency manuals. How fun!
Basically, the little handbook is broken up into four sections, including how to get settled in, how to manage room and board, how to survive extracurricular activities and how to survive classes.
Right off the bat, I'll tell you that the first section is a waste of time. Settling in is something you're either good at or you're not, and reading about how to take on a "new identity" as either a jock, a hippie or an intellectual isn't going to help much, especially when it's all meant to be a joke. However, I did enjoy learning how to decorate a room when you're broke, because making milk crate chairs, T-shirt curtains and picture frames seems like it'd be fun.
The room and board section is a little more interesting than the first one, and that's only because it actually has some informative tips. Reading about how to deal with "nightmare" roommates wasn't exactly a laugh riot, especially when the book suggests dividing your dorm room in half by drawing a line down the center of it. Wow, immature and impractical. But there were still a few gems to be had in this section, like the chapter on how to hide small items within a room. I won't actually tell you what the guide says, but if you're ever over at my place, don't go checking in any of my old textbooks, electrical outlets or potted plants.
Eventually, the book starts to get funny in the third section, especially with chapters on how to survive a stadium riot (stay away from the mascots!), how to survive the walk of shame and how to date three people at once. Most students here at Penn State shouldn't really have a problem with that last one, but if you do, here's a clue: Make sure your roommate's in on what's going on; conflicting statements from the two of you will make for suspicious dates.
Lastly, Worst Case Scenario's final section on class survival seems like the most helpful, mainly because it seems aimed directly at Penn State students. Anyone who goes to a school as big as ours knows that tips on how to get into a class that's full are priceless, especially when there's also a guide on how to survive the class once it gets boring. Even more important are the chapters that go over how to take a test when you haven't even studied, and how to survive a class with a hangover. We've all been in these situations before, so any advice is helpful, no matter how lamely it's written.
Ultimately, this "survival" guide won't magically bring up your grades or win you dates, but if you have some time to kill, there's definitely some interesting stuff in here that's worth the read. If not, at least you won't have to worry about what to get people for those upcoming high school graduations.
