If the future is an endless, two-dimensional flight through space, I'm so there.

Sure, for the average angst-filled young person who can't wait to break out of the boxes into which we're socially confined, it seems like it would suck to only be able to move left and right.

But think about it. You wouldn't have to make decisions regarding anything beyond what's on either side of you. You'd never have to take the initiative to move forward. You could sit back and wait for everything to come to you. And then you could blow it the heck up.

That's right. If Galaga is my future, I say, let the space bugs loose!

This is, of course, referring to the classic 1981 arcade overhead shooter in which the player does nothing more than move a tiny space plane ("ship" would be too generous) from side to side while zapping said insects as they try to attack. Seems like there's not much to it, but something about Galaga's detail-free graphics, basically music-free sound effects and overall deep-thought-free game play somehow makes it an obsession-worthy form of electronic therapy.

But there has to be more to a game than moving a joystick back and forth. Don't worry -- Galaga knows this. And as you make progress, Galaga addresses this by turning your three lives into three living nightmares.

Each successive level adds more enemies to squash with your space laser, all with more speed and skill themselves. And then, they start shooting back at you, and it really starts to get ugly. And then, if you don't kill them fast enough, the biggest and noisiest bugs fly toward you and suck up your little plane! Aside from the shooting range-esque bonus stages in which the bad guys scurry on screen purely for your own destructive pleasure and can't hurt you at all, Galaga rarely gives the gamer a break.

That is, unless the gamer is slightly savvy when it comes to old-school arcade logic. With a little patience, the player will realize that some of those big, bad bugs are kind of like big, bad buddies in disguise. A few well-timed zaps will free those captured planes, giving yourself an unstoppable, rapid-fire double-team.

Until they kill one or both of your planes, which, if you're past like, level eight, will probably happen -- quickly.

It's difficult to master some of Galaga's intricacies in the arcade (especially since it sometimes seems like the only place to find one of these machines is in a random gas station in Boise, Idaho). It's also difficult to justify spitting up hard-earned quarters to make no real productive progress. My solution is to get the Nintendo or Atari version, which, although not quite as authentic as the arcade, will allow the user to improve his or her Galaga skill once a machine is actually found.

Once you're actually good at this game and you're seamlessly soaring from one level to the next without sacrificing any lives other than the one it takes to retrieve your fighter friend, you'll feel like you're actually being productive and getting something done.

The future is looking bright for Galaga fans, in more ways than one. But not more than two ways.