"He loves me; he loves me not" -- Leave those daisies in the ground.

"I'm not good enough; I'm too fat; he likes my friend" -- Put the ice cream back in the freezer, and throw the tissues away. Ben & Jerry aren't going to stop the crying and help solve your relationship problems, but Alison James would like to try.

James is a "coffee shop therapist in New York City" and the author of the new relationship book I Used to Miss Him ... But My Aim is Improving (Not Your Ordinary Breakup Survival Guide).

"I dated my fair share of guys," James said about her beginning in this field of research. "I had just gone through this horrible breakup, and all I kept thinking was that every girl I know has gone through this. And this book is what we all needed -- something funny and sarcastic that lets you get mad at him and helps you get through the breakup at the same time."

This light-hearted guide through love and life uses a blend of wisdom, humor, attitude and practical advice that James said she has acquired over the years from female family, friends and co-workers.

"I've learned that being sad and weepy is OK sometimes during a breakup, but sometimes we need that sarcastic, kick-his-ass, he's-the-jerk-not-you twist," James said.

James said she certainly does not recommend avoiding relationships and although her book focuses on women's experiences, many of the men in her past have taught her valuable lessons about life, love and herself.

"We need to see how funny it is that he can make you so crazy and how mad you can be and how insane you become that you want to call him at 3 a.m. to yell at him," James said.

Sarah Hoover, a counselor at A Woman's Concern, 423 S. Pugh St., said she thinks the themes James presents in her book give some positive and intelligent advice to women.

"A lot of times in short-dating relationships, we don't want to show a lot of emotion because it will show weakness," Hoover said. "But it's OK to be emotional and express how you're feeling in healthy ways."

Some of the ideas James included in her book are chapters on how to "face the end with courage" and "look sexy, feel fabulous," with advice on comfort food, shopping and celebrating one of the most important things in life -- friends.

Mary Anne Knapp, a staff therapist at the Center for Counseling and Psychological Services, said she agrees with James' ideas on maintaining friendships.

"We're so often into the fairy tale couple that gets together and lives happily ever after that we forget that there are other types of relationships that are just as important," Knapp said. "Friends are people that care about you in a way that is not just with that romantic dyad."

James said she hopes her book will provide her readers with that positive, honest support of a good friend, but most importantly, that women will be able to relate to the experiences and be able to grow and gain from their lives and her work.

"What is so important to remember, no matter what the dating experience, is that when you go through a bad relationship with someone, it can be really inspirational," James said. "When you're angry but you want to prove you are good enough, you can be more determined to make your life what you want it to be. Remember that you are good enough, so as long as you keep trying, you will succeed."