There is a large beached whale here at Penn State. While countless workers of a well-publicized humanitarian agency strive to bring water-laden blankets to this poor creature, no thought has been put into getting it back in the water. Mass media cover the entire fiasco, praising the futile attempts to save the life of the whale. There's positive PR all around for workers, humanitarian agencies and onlookers for being involved in such a noble project. Everyone wins, except the dying whale.

This ungainly creature is our Undergraduate Student Government (USG) and we, the students, are its natural habitat, the water. Our elected officials strive to bring us closer to USG, while wrapping us in the safety of woolen blankets, "protecting" us from the unspeakable horrors of USG politics. While the mass media glorifies the efforts of these workers to save USG, they fail to point out that the best idea is to bring the whale to the water, not water to the whale. So, in the end, who really benefits? Well, not the whale. The sea loses a son or daughter, the workers accomplish nothing, and mass media have nothing more to cover.

Seems like the only group that truly benefits is the humanitarian agency.

Now, tell me whom it represents.