It's time for an imaginary takeover of this campus. I'm writing this letter to promote a new candidate for The Daily Collegian's editor in chief: Ura Bullsheetr, wife of Kris Ankarlo's Ima Bullsheetr (" 'Ima Bullsheetr': The candidate to dismantle USG's tradition of ineptitude," March 25). She is a passionate, well-articulated and well-informed Bullsheetr. She intends to not only lead the Collegian in its mission to provide students with crossword puzzles, but also to occasionally write editorials motivating students. Bullsheetr has lofty goals, and she intends to rescue the Collegian from its current status of "crossword puzzle provider" to a source of groundbreaking news, sports and critical editorials. Ura Bullsheetr intends to use her vast knowledge of editorial symbols, such as the slash (/), the "X-out" (X), and the always-legit insert mark (^) to ensure The Daily Collegian only prints the best articles. She hopes that by gaining the editor in chief position that she can draft 800 words of pure persuasion on such issues as "Undergraduate Student Government (USG) smells," and "Raising tuition is as cool as Kenny G (not cool)." In short, Ura Bullsheetr will wield the power of the press to enact change at Penn State.

Dear Collegian writers: Quit wasting newspaper space with worthless columns about imaginary candidates. Use your creativity to inspire students to care about their government and their voice. The press is nothing without an active government to enact change. Who do you expect to persuade if USG is dissolved? There are candidates that care, so I suggest you start taking your power to influence seriously -- or else just put the crossword puzzle on the front page.