As the entire campus rushes toward the conclusion of this conceited parade of bankrupt ideas we dare to call an election campaign, you'll have to pardon me if I nod off. In the three years I've been here, I have great difficulty recalling a single instance of our representatives in student government doing anything in proportion to the immodest rhetoric spouted in the run-up to the elections.

The impossible goals and promises made by this year's candidates -- including the apparent belief by some candidates that we poor schlubs can only be "empowered" through the divine power that they will wield in office -- serve to reinforce the belief that Undergraduate Student Government (USG) is a totally impotent organization. I don't know which is more laughable -- the candidates who actually think they can make the library carry two copies of all course textbooks and lower the prices of food on campus (to name only two of the myriad of inane positions), or students who actually believe that any of this will come to pass.

That's why, as protest, I plan to write-in Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin as an executive ticket on election day. USG is such a pointless waste of time that not even two of the most evil men in history could do any harm given that "power."