Hi. This is Satan talking. You all know me -- the Prince of Darkness, formerly the Morning Star. Like many, I've been following the gay marriage debate in The Daily Collegian's editorial pages with some interest. But, I was surprised to see my name in Wednesday's edition, when Michael Ekworomadu wrote that I'd be waiting to receive all the world's homosexuals into the fiery bowels of Hell ("Gays should prepare to meet Satan upon death," March 17). Look, Ekworomadu: Don't speak for me. I can do just fine by myself.

Let me take this opportunity to let you all know what I'm about. You see, when it comes to gays, frankly, I just don't care. These are people who just want to be able to love who they want to love, to live and let live. You know -- all that crap those guys God and Jesus are always preaching about. I hate that stuff. I have no place for it. What I do like is intolerance, cruelty and hatred -- those are the things that really get me off. Certainly more so than who's schtuping who. Yes, intolerance and closed-mindedness are sure ways to get you down here with me.