Dear emo,

How are you? I am fine. I was sorry to hear about the loss of your girlfriend several years ago; although I must admit, I'm not sure why you feel the need to talk about it so often. I am also saddened by the fact that your hair seems to be turning a very murky shade of black and that your T-shirts seem to be shrinking at an alarming rate. Sometimes you worry me, emo.

How're those guitar lessons working out? Are you still hung up on that thing where you play one guitar line and then have somebody else play another one so it sounds all complicated when really it's not? Over and over again? I guess I'd hoped you'd moved on a bit from that, emo.

And did that sore throat ever go away? Seems like you've had it for as long as I can remember, the way you walk around, wheezing about everything. Tough luck, emo. You might try a Halls.

So, emo, have you heard the new Get Up Kids album, Guilt Show? I know they've always been one of your favorites. You never minded that they're a third-rate Weezer or that Matt Pryor's voice sounds like screeching tires. They just seem, crazy as it might be to outsiders like myself, to be your thing. I know you weren't too into the last record, On a Wire, and I guess I respect that.

I remember talking to you once about how The Promise Ring tried to grow up with Wood/Water, and you weren't about to have one of your favorite bands actually attempting anything new.

Well, emo, let me tell you, you'll be awfully glad to hear Guilt Show. After the slight maturation of On a Wire, the Kids sound like 16-year-olds again. And I know that's what you're looking for in a band.

Don't be fooled, though, emo. It's not all minor-key riffage and aimless, unpoetic heartbreak on Guilt Show. In fact, there's some fairly competent pop-rock to be had here too. The organ-driven "The One You Want" could almost be a Spoon song, and there are shades of quite a few great tunesmiths in the first third of the album. Sure, the vocals are still fairly weak, and I'll admit, I'm not fond of the strung-together-cliches as lyrical content thing the Kids favor, but if I must, I'll take my blasts of adolescence wrapped up in as catchy a shell as I can. I bet if you really thought about it, you would, too, emo.

You're stubborn, though, and I can respect that. I mean, you'd have to be, listening to thousands of different variations on the same jaunty song over and over again like you do. And there's at least half a dozen of them to be found on Guilt Show. Slow or fast, jerky or smooth, annoying or slightly less than annoying, there's plenty of, well, emo for you. It's rather unexceptional, I'll admit, but you don't seem to mind that much.

Well, emo, I've got to run. There's just something about you that gives me (and everybody else I know, it seems) a terrible headache. I do honestly hope you finally find what it is you're looking for. Do me one favor, though? When you buy Guilt Show, do it in a store, not over the Internet. It seems like you could use the sunlight.

Your estranged friend,

Good taste