I like chick flicks. I like teenybopper movies. I like silly movies that usually involve some over-privileged, beautiful 16-year-old girl who's 25 in real life, suffering through some incredible trauma, like a pimple on prom night.

I hated Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. Don't like my opinion? Listen to my roommates who saw this tragedy along with me:

"I'd rather be in class at 8 a.m.," one said.

"Why was that just so bad?" another questioned.

"That was worse than Gigli," the last complained.

I rest my case.

The story focuses on Mary "Lola" Cep, played by Lindsay Lohan, who moves with her family from New York City to small town in New Jersey and dreams of a life grander and more dramatic then her own. Through lying, whining, wearing hideous clothes and being extremely annoying, Lola continues to strive to be more pathetic and ridiculous then she already is.

Lola encounters everything an average teenage girl can expect at a new school: a beautiful, snobby, Louis Vuitton-wearing rival to challenge to a dance-off; a good-looking, one-dimensional guy who shows up randomly to worship her; and a dorky new best friend who helps her realize she doesn't need to lie to become the annoying drama queen she wants to be. She already is one.

Between the flashes into fantasies inside Lola's mind and the horrendous costumes, this movie is visually nauseating. While the costume designer's choices are apparently supposed to represent Lola's quirky personality, the only thing they seem to show is that the costume designer was smoking crack.

Confessions' director Sara Sugarman starts sub-plots, then quickly abandons them, leaving the audience confused. For example, Lola's father isn't in the picture for the first half of the movie. She even tells her new best friend that her father is dead, and her mother is depicted as all alone with three kids. However, halfway through the movie, the father appears and has a seemingly good relationship with Lola and her mom, begging the question, why isn't he around?

Lola is the only character who is at all developed, and even her roots are shaky. We know she wants to be an actress, but we have no idea whether she's actually done anything about it or has just whined about it as she does throughout the movie. Lohan is a good actress. She kept up beautifully with Jamie Lee Curtis' comic timing in Freaky Friday, and there are moments when she demonstrates some traces of actual talent. However, this movie prevents any of the actors from being truly good.

The only highlight and humor is seen in Adam Garcia's character Stu Wolff, the rock star at the focus of Lola's obsession. His drunken antics are amusing, but as soon as he sobers up, the humor dries up as well.

Now I'm sure for most of you, the title Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen already screams bad movie, but to those who held out any hope that this flick could be cute or funny, let me crush that. Please don't see this movie. For my sake.