Watching Welcome To Mooseport is like sinking your teeth into a plain piece of Wonder Bread; both are soft, flavorless and ultimately leave you with an empty feeling in your stomach.
The worst thing about this political comedy starring Gene Hackman and Ray Romano isn't just that its bland humor falls completely flat; it's that besides being a terminally safe movie, Mooseport is excruciatingly boring.
Despite what it's writers and producers would have you believe, nothing actually happens in this film.
Sure, there's an obvious enough plot line to satisfy audiences, but it's nothing that hasn't been done before, and better. Ray Romano is the beloved handy man of Mooseport whose life is turned upside down when ex-president Gene Hackman decides to run for mayor of the small town, stealing Romano's girlfriend (Maura Tierney) in the process. Hoping to somehow win the girl back, local-yokel Romano decides to run against the nation's favorite president, and sure enough, screwball comedy ensues.
At least that's the angle director Donald Petrie was probably going for. With its small town feel and bumbling, wholesome characters, you can tell Petrie desperately wants Mooseport to play like a modern-day Frank Capra flick. And though its L.L. Bean atmosphere certainly reeks of New England nostalgia, there's no real hometown warmth within Mooseport's pine and plaid trappings.
Aside from the unnecessary plot twists and trite ending, what really makes this film a flop is the half-hearted acting from its two seemingly talented leads. Though Romano is certainly no acting gem, at least his antics in Everybody Loves Raymond were still good for a few laughs.
In Mooseport, Romano only seems to be sleepwalking through his role, not even giving the audience his trademark Raymond appeal. Instead of the charming Jimmy Stewart-like goof he should have played in this film, Romano misses the boat completely with his irritating whining and childlike ignorance.
Hackman's character doesn't exactly fare any better. Though his role is certainly a standout among the others in Mooseport, Hackman's acting is merely fair as a hardened politician with a heart.
The only character that comes close to giving fresh air to this stale satire is Christine Baranski, Hackman's embittered ex-wife, and her role is only a fleeting one.
In the end, the final nail that seals Mooseport's coffin is its blatant vie to appeal to a white, middle class and conservative demographic. Not surprisingly, Mooseport is no haven to cultural diversity. There are exactly two (count them, two) minority characters within the whole film, and both are reduced to the typical stereotypes: a thickly accented Asian architect, and a head-bobbing, big-boned African American woman. How white bread can you get?
At least the saving point for most cinematic bombs is that there's some ridiculous kitsch to make it laughable, but Mooseport is just so stale, you're better off entertaining yourself with that piece of Wonder Bread.
