I don't have a date for Valentine's Day, but I'm not sweating it. When everybody else is out swillin' and swoonin' and spendin', I'm pretty down for a quiet evening at home with my Sea Monkeys and my records. Sure, I might not be number one with the ladies come Saturday, but after you've all emptied your pockets into dinners you can't afford and wine that isn't Mad Dog, I'll still be able to make a great mix CD. And isn't that really what the females are looking for? Don't answer that question. Give me my dignity.
Since I know you're all busy calling in your dinner reservations (I hear Pollock Commons is serving meat lasagna), I figured I, your friendly and only slightly embittered neighborhood rock 'n' roll critic, could handle the music. So fire up the ol' CD burner while Uncle Paul sets the mood. May I present the greatest, totally multifunctional Valentine mix ever (in no particular order):
Bob Dylan - "Tonight I'll Be Staying Here With You": This one's pretty self-explanatory. The sweetest, most easygoing song Dylan ever wrote is also maybe his best, and if the title seems like it'll describe your evening, this is your jam.
The Beatles - "Two of Us": You know how it is. Sometimes you've been with someone so long, the relationship gets that worn-in feeling, and you might feel the urge to panic. The thrill is gone, you say? Maybe so, but this Beatles classic is a surefire reminder of why familiarity isn't a bad thing after all. I might sound like Dear Abby, but this song still rules.
De La Soul - "Eye Know": Rap doesn't do love songs very well. Leave it to De La, those funk-soul brothers, to come with a sweet, sappy little tune that's perfect for an easygoing Valentine's evening. Unless your date insists on Ludacris, this is the party record of the night.
Aretha Franklin - "I Never Loved a Man (The Way I Love You)": If I were dating a girl and she put this on a CD for me, I'd flip out. If you're sick of "Let's Stay Together," try on this one. It's bette, anyway.
Built to Spill - "Reasons": Rockin' indie-pop for your more devoted relationships, "Reasons" is a perfect song. It may tout long-term love, but it sounds like the start of something new.
Outkast - "Happy Valentine's Day": From the kid-tested, Grammy-approved album of the year, this one's not only a no-brainer, it's also a great soul song. If tonight's your first date, you've got your song.
The Flaming Lips - "When You Smile": A forgotten gem from these psych-rock weirdos, "When You Smile" sounds like the smartest first grader you've ever met proposing marriage. Too amazing for words.
Nick Drake - "Northern Sky": When all is said and done, this is as good a love song as any ever written; Drake's delicate vocals play against an effortless folk-rock arrangement to create yet another first-date masterpiece.
The Microphones - "The Moon": Did you see Lost in Translation? Did you like it? If that movie were a song, this would be it. Gorgeous, chiming lo-fi from a very under-appreciated band.
Steve Earle - "Valentine's Day": Look, it's only an obvious choice if you've heard the song, and I bet you haven't. Earle's simple, pastoral "Valentine's Day" is about what you forget, and ultimately, about what you remember, and it's undoubtedly the best song ever written about the holiday. Check it out.
