I remember when a Grammy meant something. I remember when the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation protested the award show because Eminem, the so-called gay and lesbian hater, performed and was nominated for the sacred Album of the Year.
He took the stage with Elton John for a mediocre media stunt, performing a Dido-less and less-than-mediocre version of "Stan." The sad part was, he deserved the award -- but Steely Dan got it.
Who? Oh, Steely Dan are these two sleazy-looking 60-year-olds who weren't even that popular when they actually were supposed to be popular.
Back to the present, though. All the hype this year was another hip-hop act, one with a little less contentious reputation and certainly no protests.
In terms of my argument, OutKast has become the new "it band."
Every college kid loves them, most critics adore the ground they walk on, and their album has topped the charts.
But if I hear "Hey Ya" or "The Way You Move" at another party, they will be tied with "Happy Birthday" for overplayed obnoxiousness.
Or, in terms you understand: OutKast blows.
Right now, everybody probably hates me because of what I have just said, but give me time to refute. There's nothing spectacular about OutKast. There was, however, something spectacular about their last album, Stankonia. And there is nothing spectacular about Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, except for the fact that so many people can get duped into thinking it's actually a great album.
Case in point: An album is not great if you could get Justin Timberlake to perform all the songs, and the album would be taken in its same context. "Hey Ya" would be the same song, whether ol' breast-grabbing teeny-bopper sang it or Andre 3000 did.
The music could pass for a N.E.R.D., Prince or Beatles rip-off. The lyrics are as vapid as a bag of unsalted pretzels and sleazy as Ron Jeremy's daily dialogue.
In relative terms, Speakerboxxx/The Love Below is the safest album of the year.
Nothing is musically adventurous on the CD. It rehashes every tried and true pop formula.
It's like the Kill Bill of albums this year: If you take a lot of stuff that people like and put it together, and as long as you're not stupid about it, people will buy it. I know that music is supposed to be product. But, I believe that music should be about polarization and taste.
Nothing is contentious about OutKast, and the disappointing part is there used to be. OutKast used to sing songs that critiqued the social ideologies of America.
Just listen to the first track on Stankonia, "Gasoline Dreams." Even the name of the song touches on a sensitive vein of the American public -- oil use.
But now, the group has reduced its message to shaking your booty like a Polaroid picture. Wow, I wish I could write something as original and catchy as that. So maybe I'm part of the school of thought that believes art should make a difference. It should shake us from our complacency while entertaining us at the same time.
OutKast used to do that. Look at "Bombs Over Baghdad" or "Rosa Parks." Their career has a string of songs that made us dance, but also made us think.
It's just too upsetting that the group has thrown that away for an over-sexed, over-hyped, over-indulged piece of crap.
But, hey, it's the "Album of the Year." So why not buy it and feed the hype machine.
I'm taking my copy straight to the used bin.
