Rumors are a funny thing, and they shouldn't really appear in the newspaper other than right here, in an opinion column.
Everybody knows about and understands how this works, the germination and growth of a tall tale. They learn that much, if nothing else, from high school.
The general chain for a juicy Suzie likes Bobby high school whopper is short, maybe 100 to 150 people.
But all these Penn State rumors pass through the state and indeed the country, entering hundreds of thousands of ears. Each time a rumor is retold, it morphs ever so slightly. The most popular of rumors out there right now, and therefore the most mutated, deal with changes Joe Paterno might make to his coaching staff.
Just for the record, here they are:
1. Fran Ganter is leaving Penn State and will be replaced by former Washington and Colorado head coach Rick Neuheisel.
2. Ron Vanderlinden, who turned down at least one head coaching job this offseason, will become the defensive coordinator. The man who has filled that position since Jerry Sandusky left, Tom Bradley, will be put in charge of special teams.
3. Jay Paterno will, one way or another, not be coaching the quarterbacks next season. He'll probably end up as offensive coordinator at a smaller school.
4. Jay's pop, Joe Paterno, will eat a lot of lasagna and probably not hold any press conferences until his traditional pre-spring practice meeting with the media.
So you might not have heard the last one, but it's the most likely to happen.
Let's dissect each rumor.
1. Fran Ganter has been around these parts for a long, long time. Plus he has two kids on the team. He's also the most logical choice to replace Paterno if the 77-year old ever retires.
But the real question is this: why would Rick Neuheisel take an offensive coordinator position? Despite his past problems (recruiting violations, gambling) he's a terrific coach who should be able to find work as a head coach somewhere. Unless, of course, Paterno, who knows Neuheisel well from their common Nike connections, wants him to come in for one year, learn the ropes, and then take over.
2. So Paterno, who's always championed loyalty, is going to replace Bradley (25 years of service) with Vanderlinden (3 years of service)? Maybe that's the deal Vanderlinden struck in exchange for staying in town, but it's doubtful. The linebackers underachieved all year, especially Derek Wake. And while Penn State certainly does need a special teams coach, Bradley shouldn't be demoted.
3. Joe Paterno has not been quiet about his desire for Jay to leave the Penn State program and experience life elsewhere. One possible destination for Jay is Akron, which recently hired a former Pittsburgh assistant as head coach. Jay would help with recruiting, but his credentials as an offensive coach are somewhat lacking. Zack
Mills, who's been the younger Paterno's project throughout the years, has stagnated in his development. Jay hasn't had full control of calling offensive plays and may excel given that chance.
4. Paterno had no comment when Kenny Carter left his job as receivers coach for a similar position at Vanderbilt. He doesn't seem overanxious to let anyone know what's happening with his football program.
One theory is that once Penn State signs its verbal commitments on Feb. 4, it will announce wholesale coaching changes. It's holding off on making these changes now because doing so might scare off recruits.
Here's why that makes no sense: if Penn State were to make changes like hiring a well-known coach such as Neuheisel, wouldn't that help recruiting? Don't recruits want to see that 3-9 teams are trying to improve by experimenting with something new?
Besides, if Penn State does plan to make these changes, and is holding off so as to basically trick recruits, isn't that being fairly dishonest? Wouldn't that turn off future recruits?
Yet the rumors will persist and they will persist because these are rumors that people want to believe.
Fans are waiting for something -- anything -- to happen.
It's up to Joe Paterno whether or not such drastic changes are warranted or needed.
Lasagna, though, is a fine dish, one Joe's wife excels at making, and is well-worth eating.
