Don't believe anything you read.

In all the magazines, Dizzee Rascal's been crowned the next big thing in rap. Young, British and recently stabbed, Diz seems on paper like he could be the very thing heads have been waiting for in the wake of Jay-Z's retirement. His debut, Boy in da Corner is, to its credit, a complete sidestep from almost all other hip-hop. It's also totally hard to listen to.

You can't play this at a party, or in a car. But you can't just sit there and listen to it either. Not only is Dizzee's accent oppressively thick, but his beats sound like a million cell phones going off at once or a first grader mashing keys over the demo song on a million keyboards. In other words, headache-inducing.

Most reviewers have pointed to Dizzee's lyrics as being some kind of pointed social commentary about lower-class Britain. But a quick read would suggest that his deepest stuff makes Bone Thugs' "Tha Crossroads" sound positively Orwellian. He's an angry young man, sure, but so was Biggie. At least Biggie could rap.

"Fix Up, Look Sharp" is pretty good, I guess, but it actually has a hook, none of that off-key synth stuff, and a great Billy Squier sample. No wonder it's the single. "Jus' a Rascal" is OK, if shameless. This is a long album to only have two tolerable songs.

Maybe this is one of those records that is so intentionally annoying, it couldn't be anything but brilliant. If that's the case, well then, I admit it, I don't get this particular joke. Good records endear, not irritate. Boy in da Corner isn't fresh. It's just unpleasant. Believe me when I tell you you'll hate it.

-- Reviewed by Paul Thompson