'Bad Santa'

Hey, I like Christmas. There's nothing wrong with a little eggnog-induced holiday cheer every now and then. I've even been known to view A Very Brady Christmas a few times of my own free will. But that doesn't mean I still don't enjoy it when Bad Santa's Billy Bob Thornton proclaims in one of his character's groundbreaking moments, "Things have really started to turn around for me. I beat up a few kids today, and you know what? I feel pretty good about myself."

There's more where that came from. Between liquor-swilling benders and boot-knocking ventures with "Mrs. Santa's Sister" (Gilmore Girls' Lauren Graham with a Santa fetish), Billy Bob manages to work through his drunken haze as a department store Santa who scares the crap out of kids. No, he's not playing the big guy for kicks; Thornton's in cahoots with his pint-sized partner-in-crime (Tony Cox, the bad-ass elf who keeps Santa in line) to rob the store on Christmas Eve. Watching his every move are the store's bumbling manager, played by the late John Ritter, and the head of security played by Bernie Mac.

But remember, this is a Christmas movie, so there's got to be some sort of non-reprehensible character for the film to fall back on. Enter Brett Kelly, known mostly throughout the movie as "the kid," a sad, snot-nosed adolescent who sees Thornton's sleazy character as sort of a mythical father figure. Yet don't expect any major changes of heart from Thornton.

This movie is just as heartless and tasteless as the trailers make it out to be. Along with the usual gross out vomit and snot gags, Bad Santa ventures into a darker aspect of the holiday spirit that most seasonal films always try to overlook. Bottom line, if you're still leaving out milk and cookies for your favorite oversized elf, go check out that Will Ferrell alternative because Bad Santa will leave you with a raunch-induced hangover.

-- Reviewed by Megan McKenna