I always thought the holiday season was supposed to be a time of giving.
But I was wrong, so very wrong.
Take the music industry for example. You'd think that bands would be eager to be giving interviews to promote their concerts on New Year's Eve.
Instead, they rejected me up and down, from The Strokes and The White Stripes to Blue Oyster Cult and David Lee Roth.
My editor was quick to reassure me; after all, The Strokes are big rock stars, and Diamond Dave's schedule is completely booked with appearances as a shopping mall Santa. Either that, or experimenting liberally with hair regrowth products.
Instead, left without a single source (but enough opinions to fill a book), rather than give you a straight-up preview of some of the ways to ring in 2004, I've assembled my very own Top Ten list of the concerts you can't afford to miss this New Year's Eve.
10. Townhall with Bohemian Sunrise, Theatre of Living Arts (TLA), Philadelphia
For the second time in three years, Philadelphia-based Townhall is holding its New Year's Ball at the TLA, combining jazz, rock, blues, funk, soul and reggae into a neatly-tied package that is hard to categorize.
9. Jane's Addiction/Marilyn Manson with The Used, Madison Square Garden, New York City
Perhaps the most cracked-out New Year's concert you could attend, unless you count the Spin Doctors (see #8).
But at least Kelly Osbourne probably won't be attending. Now Bert McCracken of The Used will have to get famous all by himself.
8. Gov't Mule with the Spin Doctors, Beacon Theatre, New York City
I can't figure this one out either. Possible heading for a concert poster: "Washed-up quasi-jam band opens for the real thing." It's no joke; the Mule has played five-hour shows that stay tight regardless of the length.
7. The Black Keys, Beachland Ballroom and Tavern, Cleveland
They're not The White Stripes. This electrifying blues duo wants to make that clear, in spite of the obvious similarities to Jack and Meg in lineup and style.
It was good enough to open for Guided By Voices last New Year's Eve, but this time around, The Keys stand alone.
6. moe., Tweeter Center at the Waterfront, Camden, N.J.
Another jam that promises to go all hours of the night. If you can survive that long in Camden, that is. I recommend taking the ferry from the Philly side to avoid driving through the ghetto.
5. Yo La Tengo, Maxwell's, Hoboken, N.J.
For the past few years, the indie rockers have played all eight nights of Hanukkah here at their old stomping grounds.
Unfortunately, they've canceled this year without much in the way of details, although on their Web site, they "categorically deny that the competition between James's mom and Ira's mom for whose hamantaschen they preferred last Purim had anything to do with the decision."
Right. So make sure you see them on New Year's.
4. Phish, American Airlines Arena, Miami
What can I say? Four nights in a row, culminating with New Year's Eve. Just make sure you have a stash (food and clothing) that will last.
3. The Strokes with Kings of Leon, Cox Pavillion, Las Vegas
Think of it as the ultimate party with the ultimate party band. The Vegas odds are heavily in favor of The Strokes getting drunker than Ryan Adams and the Kings sounding way better live than on their latest album.
2. The Disco Biscuits with The New Deal, Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City
This is where you can find yours truly for the 2004 festivities, within walking distance from Times Square. Bisco New Year's shows are legendary, and surprises a certainty. And the music of both bands is sure to keep me dancing until morning.
1. The Flaming Lips with The White Stripes, Aragon Ballroom, Chicago
This is where yours truly wishes he were going for the 2004 festivities. The White Stripes are amazing, and if you haven't seen The Lips, you need to start making plans.
If you go, you're bound to see balloons, glow sticks, animals dancing on stage, videos, fake blood ... and that even includes those who aren't on acid.
