If you live on the West Side of town, you've walked past it a thousand times. You may have even gone in and bought milk. But if you haven't noticed the sub shop inside Boots Dairyette, 401 W. Beaver Ave., you are missing out on some of the best food-for-your-buck in town.

Don't let the convenience store atmosphere fool you. The friendly employees of Boots are always ready to take your order, which you can place by filling out any of the six different menus: cold subs, hot subs, club sandwiches and salads, sandwiches on a round roll, cheesesteaks and side orders.

If you ask me, a cold sub is the way to go. One of the overlooked advantages of Boots is its fresh supply of Boar's Head meat, which is undeniably the highest of quality. Unlike most sub shops that offer six and 12-inch subs, Boots throws conventionality to the wind and provides you with seven and 14-inch subs.

In fact, it's such a good idea that they even have T-shirts sporting the phrase "Ask me about my 14-incher."

A quick price comparison reveals that despite the quality meat and longer rolls, a 14-inch turkey sub will only cost you $5.55 compared to $4.99 at Subway, 100 Burrowes St., for two inches less.

That's just simple math. It's worth the extra loose change for more sub. Now how about some quick addition? For just $2 extra, you can get a large drink and large fries with your sub. Let me just point out that this is a meal too large for a sitting. In fact, I'm eating the leftovers as we speak.

The array of side orders is too much to mention, but some of the more interesting are fried ravioli, fried mushrooms, buffalo wings and popcorn shrimp. They may not be the best you've ever tasted, but they are good and for the price and convenience, hard to pass up. Vegetarians can also breathe easy. Boots has a delicious cheese sub with American, Swiss, provolone and a selection of veggies. There is also an eggplant sub and veggie platter.

But if Boots has one flaw, and every superhero does, it's a lack of speedy preparation. Luckily, there are three vintage arcade games you can play while waiting. For just a quarter you have a choice of Tekken 2, Ivan "Iron Man" Stewart's Super Off Road Racer or two games of Galaxian, making Boots the premiere arcade in town since the closing of Playland, 350 E. College Ave.

But if video games aren't your style, a television is always on. On average it may take five to 10 minutes for your food to be made, but with all the time-killing options, it's hardly noticeable.

Unfortunately this glowing review won't help matters for someone like me, who has made Boots subs his main source of sustenance. I know I'm risking long lines by letting you all in on this secret of culinary goodness, but if you live on the West Side and you are walking past Atherton Street to get food, you have been hoodwinked.

The East Side can also enjoy Boots, as they will take orders and deliver to your home for free. So, give Boots a visit.

And while you're there, ask them about their 14-incher.