Don't try to tell Jeff Smoker the key to overcoming a problem is talking about it.
The Michigan State senior would rather forget the past than repeat it, even if that means clarifying a bizarre set of circumstances that would ultimately cause his suspension for the remaining five games of the 2002 season.
Very few but Smoker are clear on exactly what happened in the months leading to his admission of substance abuse, and he prefers to keep it that way.
"There's so much to it and there's so much that I wouldn't want to jeopardize the confidentiality of other people," Smoker said. "It's hard to tell a story in every detail of what happened. I don't like going back and reliving it. Each time I have to talk about it, it's not an easy thing to do."
Despite a resurgence this season that has Smoker among the nation's best quarterbacks and ranks the Spartan's passing offense as the best in the Big Ten, most people want to focus on his past.
Not the road that the Manheim native traveled to become one of the nation's most highly sought prep products after his stellar high school career at Manheim Central High School. As a senior, Smoker passed for 2,458 yards and 26 touchdowns while rushing for almost 600 yards and 10 touchdowns.
Not the honorable mention to the Freshman All-America team. Not his 166.4 passer rating as a sophomore, the third-highest single-season mark ever seen in the Big Ten Conference. Not the fact that Smoker is still the Spartan's leader in career passing yards, touchdown passes and career completions.
Apparently nothing can create quite the buzz like the sensation who fell off the wagon -- another week, another group of people who want to know the true story. It's something Smoker is used to, even if it doesn't get any easier.
"It's something I don't like reliving and talking about, but it seems like the only thing I'm known for now," Smoker said. "That's what everyone talks about and writes about -- my name was always followed with substance abuse. I've just kind of got to expect it. It doesn't feel that good seeing it everyday, but I've got to live with that."
He's been living with a lot of issues this year, perhaps none more so than getting his starting job back. Part of the stipulation of last year's suspension was that, even though he had completed 383 passes, thrown for 5,537 yards and 40 touchdowns in three seasons, he could not compete for the starting job in spring practice.
After a long summer spent doing extra running and workouts to atone for his past problems, Michigan State football coach John L. Smith named Smoker the starting quarterback for the 2003 season. Smoker said the bond the two share has helped him deal with many of the problems that plagued him in the past.
"It's a daily struggle," Smoker said. "Living on a college campus with the environment and the things you're surrounded by, it's not easy. That's why I have such a close relationship with people in the program and why I'm doing the things that I do and taking it one day at a time."
That relationship includes calls on the weekend and daily conversations with Smith about what is happening to the quarterback on and off the field. The program has, it seems, been successful.
In his last season in East Lansing, Smoker has completed over 63 percent of his passes for 2,882 yards and 17 touchdowns while leading the Spartans to a 7-4 record. It is a sharp contrast with last season, when Michigan State lost eight of its last 10 games and looked like a program in disarray.
So, too, it seemed did Smoker appear to be floundering.
This season, however, he's looking at a second chance and says he feels lucky.
"I feel real good about what I've been able to do and overcome, but I also feel that I don't like the label of a comeback and all that because that kind of takes me back to last year," Smoker said. "I like to try and erase that like it never happened."
