Elissa Mills' column ("Community's response to recent assaults lacks outrage, blames women" Nov. 12) reminds me of something I once heard Arthur Ashe say -- that being a black man in American means constantly being aware that you are black and you are different. I would say that being a woman is a variation on this theme, a recurring awareness that your life is at the mercy of those around you. Mills' attack was not life threatening. It drew no blood, and as every girl on this campus will tell you, no one has ever died from being groped.

But it only takes a second to shatter a girl's perception of safety in this world. It only takes one miscalculated moment to make us realize that we may not be able to defend our own lives, and that our continued existence is at the hands of the men around us. We are at your sexual whims, despite what we do or do not want. I would say to the men on this campus -- we love you. You are our best friends, our brothers, our confidantes and our partners in crime. But when approaching girls on the street, at parties or in bars, remember that we are constantly aware of the fact that we cannot out run you, we cannot hit you hard enough, we cannot scream loud enough. We live in a world full of violence, and women have no desire to believe that every man thinks of us only as a piece of flesh at his disposal. We do not want sex and violence to be so intrinsically linked. We want to trust you. Please let us.