Q:
I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and it seems like lately we fight about everything. We start out with one small argument, and next thing you know it's one big fight. What can I do to stop this?

A:
What you are experiencing is not uncommon. In the initial, exciting phase of relationships, we may not notice our differences or focus on conflict.

But generally, in any relationship there comes a time when clear communication, understanding relationship dynamics and problem solving skills for dealing with confusion and conflict are necessary.

Listening to others allows us to hear their points of view to understand what's important to them and how they see the world. Sharing your concern about the other person is powerful in helping to avoid unnecessary conflict.

It also helps you communicate your own opinion with an attitude of respect for yourself and the other person. Assertiveness involves sharing your feelings, wants and expectations in a non-threatening way.

Finally, try to avoid "kitchen sink" fights, where every possible problem and unhappiness is thrown at the other person at once.

For other questions you might have about relationships or sexual health issues, join our on-line Chat Room from 7 to 9 p.m. on Thursday with experts from UHS and CAPS. Go to www.sa.psu.edu/uhs.

Health questions are answered by Ellen Nagy of UHS. Submit anonymous questions online at www1.sa.psu.edu/uhs/questions/quescom.cfm.