It's that time of the year again - flu and cold season. And it has hit me hard.

I have had bronchitis for nearly a month now, but the illness isn't making me nearly as sick as I have been with my favorite sports teams.

Maybe you can sympathize, because most of you are probably enduring much of the same perpetual disgust that I am. Symptoms to watch for:

Adding any number of witty slurs to the end of "We are..."

Motionless Terrible Towels (except when beating on defenseless coffee tables)

Skipping a letter or two in the E-A-G-L-E-S chant from lack of repetition

Enjoying watching the Pirates-in-other-uniforms in the post-season.

Making wagers on what moronic catastrophe the Giants will undergo this Sunday

Considering trying out for the Nittany Lion basketball team

If you have experienced one or more of these symptoms, it's safe to say that you are a student at Penn State and, when it comes to athletics, Happy Valley hasn't been much happier than your nearby hometown.

For the dozen or so Marlins fans out there, congratulations, you've had a better year than I've had. Though Florida's game six win over New York did provide about five minutes of satisfaction for the rest of us in knowing that George Steinbrenner couldn't buy another World Series championship.

I am from outside of Pittsburgh and currently live with two Eagles fans and one Giants fan. Needless to say, there's a lot less trash talk flying through our place than there has been in the past few years.

There is no point in making fun of the struggles of Philly's $110-million-dollar quarterback or the Giants' debacles when Bill Cowher is rotating unproductive running backs as often as Joe Paterno.

The Steelers are coming off of a string of successful seasons. On paper, they have some of the best receiving and linebacking crews in the NFL.

But Tommy's got no gun. They can't stop the run.

And the Steelers are reminding me of another defense I know that is rated high against the pass because opponents can just rush the ball the entire game.

Which brings me to our Lions. Most of us came to this school expecting to watch the legacy that is Penn State football. In my fifth semester here, I might choose not to complain as I saw Joe Pa cross the 324-win mark when I was a freshman and watched Larry Johnson join the 2,000-yard club last year.

But I'll opt to gripe here too, because those benchmarks are really just window dressing for a deteriorating program. The whining of Paterno vs. The Referee is as annoying as that of Kobe vs. Shaq. Player misconduct is strewn through a team that was once renowned for its strict policy, and Paterno's recent teams do not compete at the caliber of those during his glory years.

But have faith. At most Division I schools, a lackluster football season, or even several, could be alleviated with the prospect of the men's basketball team making a run in the conference tournament or maybe even into March.

Nope, not here. Not with the two top scorers gone from a team that went 7-21 last year. The new "rah-rah" attitude that Ed DeChellis brought with him from East Tennessee State is not going to turn the Penn State men's basketball team into a bunch of All-Americans. You can expect the men's basketball team to finish at the bottom of the Big Ten. Forget about the NCAA tourney and pray for a miracle if you want to watch the Lions in the NIT.

No, we won't have bragging rights this year at Penn State.

Well, unless you want to parade the success of our women's teams.

Tell your friends at Virginia Tech and Ohio State how good our women are in basketball, volleyball and soccer.

Maybe you can earn their respect that way, though I doubt it.

Sorry, but wouldn't you trade a Kelly Mazzante for a Bryan Randall or Marcus Vick?

In the middle of Pennsylvania we are hurting for a team to cheer for. Philadelphia could look forward to the new Sixer hookup between Allen Iverson and Glenn Robinson.

But, then again, they're still outmatched by most any team in the West.

And New York can forget about the Knicks after they traded Latrell Sprewell and picked up the bricklaying specialist that is Keith Van Horn.

For my bronchitis, the University Health Services prescribed medication that should knock the illness out of my system within a week.

But for the sickness with my teams, it looks like there's only one possible cure.

And when can I get it? Maybe next year.