For a brief moment on Thursday I thought Penn State had been annexed by the state of California. Then I realized it was freezing and cloudy, why would California ever want this weather? And then I realized how much easier my job is when stupid people do dumb things.
Under the auspices of the advancement of the student agenda, the Student Empowerment Alliance (SEA) announced their intent to recall the entire Undergraduate Student Government (USG) Senate along with President Ian Rosenberger and Vice-President Takkeem Morgan. What a fabulous and original idea. So the question begging to be asked is: How much money is Darrell Issa giving you for this nasty little charade?
Make no doubts about it; SEA is a politically motivated group interested in creating a self-fulfilling prophecy within USG. Three of the five senators involved in SEA are listed as members of the College Republicans. Senators from this same group orchestrated a politically driven take-over of the USG Senate two years ago. By manufacturing a disturbance of this magnitude, the SEA hopes to tie up Senate, yet again, in this immediate drama. Drama has the tendency to draw attention and energy away from what really matters -- student advocacy. While I support the reform of USG, this is not the means to pursue change. Furthermore, changing USG because of political associations will only damage the organization, and the student agenda, irreparably.
SEA claims they are frustrated with the progress, or lack thereof, of this year's administration. It's good to know these people are so easily frustrated.
As a matter of fact, I believe frustration was recently named as a defining characteristic of leadership. George Bush was "frustrated," and we went to war. Enron was "frustrated" with regulated energy prices so they shortchanged California. Terrell Owens was "frustrated" with his team and they lost, big, to Gus Frerotte no less.
Who do these kids (I refer to them as kids because they have yet to prove maturation beyond the point of junior high school student council) think they are, Richard Nixon and the USC Mafia?
For those of you who are not history or journalism majors, the USC Mafia was a group of conservative students at the University of Southern California. This group, many of whom went on to engineer the Watergate scandal, felt it was their duty to undermine public discourse in any way possible.
The USC Mafia sabotaged student government elections and pulled pranks on local "liberal" leaders in southern California whom they felt to be communist.
SEA wishes to recall Rosenberger and Morgan. I must say that's the best damn idea I've heard since I came to Penn State.
It makes perfect sense; they were elected with the highest vote count ever, they are probably two of the most recognizable and liked people on this campus, they have established strong links with the administration while staying true to their platform, and they have accomplished enough to stay on pace with the previous four administrations at this time of year.
For all of the members of the SEA, I have a pill I want you all to swallow; it's called reality. Perhaps you should wake up and realize that your silly maneuvers are only doing more to subvert student interests at this university.
Sure Morgan may or may not have stolen a bike, but at least he didn't get kicked out of school for illegally intercepting the e-mails of USG members and reading them to gain some sort of political advantage -- something that actually happened in a past Senate.
Really, you kids are geniuses.
I have only one question: How do I become a part of this vast network of students interested in "empowerment"? Do I have to join the College Republicans and Young Americans for Freedom? Do I have to profess my love for Ronald Reagan and Dubbya? Or maybe I should just run for one of the open Senate positions and start complaining five weeks into the semester about how nothing is happening. Or I could just sit around the Senate table on a Tuesday night and ramble on about nothing in particular for six hours.
I think it's safe to say these kids have far too much time on their hands. Really now, do these kids sit in their dorm rooms every Friday night watching reruns of Pinky and the Brain on the Cartoon Network?
"Pinky."
"Yes, Brain"
"It's time to unleash our fiendish plot to take over the world! Or at least USG."
To the members of this ludicrous assault upon the intelligence of your fellow students: Bail out while the bailing is good. SEA members who also sit on Senate should give up their seats. They are clearly not interested in the "empowerment" of students. Actually, if you really want to do something for Penn State, drop out. The last thing the Penn State gene pool needs is for you to procreate and send your offspring here.
To USG, pay no attention to these jokers. The worst thing you could do is acknowledge their existence and be distracted from your duties, that is after all their devious plot. Derive motivation from this debacle and realize that the current system invites situations like these.
