The first time Ricky Upton carried the ball on Saturday against Nebraska, he ran for the team's only touchdown of the night on his only carry of the night.

That 13-yard run was also the Lions' longest of the game.

But Upton never saw another carry.

The visibly upset Upton seemed to have an epiphany as he sat and talked with the media after the loss in Lincoln. Maybe this isn't his year to shine.

But it doesn't seem quite fair to him. He's produced when asked, he's paid his dues, yet the fifth-year senior continues to struggle with not getting the carries he, along with many others in Happy Valley, think he should get.

"I'm very frustrated," Upton said. "I understand that we have faster people playing. Austin Scott is faster than me. Michael Robinson is faster than me. It's very frustrating that when you feel like you produce with the ball, to not see it again, it's very frustrating. It works on your psyche a little bit."

Once Upton ran off the field after scoring the touchdown, he did not get the reception from the coaches he had expected to.

"After the touchdown, [Penn State football coach Joe Paterno] just told me 'good play'," Upton said. "I don't know what to expect anymore. I know I'm going in when we're throwing the ball. I think defenses are picking up on that too. I don't know what to expect anymore."

Upton fought off tears as a reporter asked him what the Nebraska defense did so effectively to stop Penn State's running attack.

"I really don't know, I wasn't in there for most of the running plays, I was just in there for that one so I can't really tell you from a first-hand experience."

Nobody ever gave Upton credit. Some didn't even know he was on the roster. Spending his five years in blue and white behind tailbacks like Eric McCoo, Omar Easy and Larry Johnson, Upton never had the chance to emerge behind the wealth of talent the Lions already had.

These effects carried over into the postseason. Heading into the spring, the biggest question seemed to be who was the likely replacement for Johnson. Upton's name never came up. It was either Austin Scott, Mike Gasparato or Donnie Johnson whose names constantly emerged. However, it was Upton's name that was at the top of the depth chart before the opening game against Temple.

Upton took his first hit of the season shortly after, as coaches told him Thursday night before the opening game that he would not be starting. He has continued to take shots in the games in the few plays he has been in for.

"It's funny how one moment you feel like you're on top of the world and the next moment the world is on top of you," Upton said. "One moment, I make a great play and I get a cut block or I read the blitz, then the next moment the blitz beats me."

Upton may have missed some blocks, but he did a much better job than his understudy Austin Scott with his respective blocks. Yet, Scott who has struggled with his backfield blocking abilities, got the majority of carries at the tailback spot.

"It's real tough to get in a rhythm when you only get a carry for the whole game," Upton said. "A lot of the blocks that were missed were mostly mine and I should have played a lot better."

In the end, Upton may not have the carries to place him as the primary ball carrier, but his maturity has been noble. That's what waiting five years does.

"I'm not frustrated with the running back situation," Upton said. "It's just that a lot of times I feel like I'm a senior, and I'm getting in the game. It's just as a running back, you want the ball a lot more than what you get. I'm sure I want the ball a lot more than the coaches see fit. That's just the way it goes."