Everyone has dreams.
Some want to be professional athletes.

Others aspire to be actors or actresses. But for me, the dream wasn't as much about what I would become; rather, the way it would happen.

That's why my first day in Sharon High School was one of the worst days of my life.

No, it's not because my locker was sandwiched between a girl who dreamed of becoming a professional wrestler (we decided her name should be "the Dog-faced Killa) and the fat kid who smelled like what he ate for dinner the night before.

Instead, what depressed me most was how my high school was nothing like the one I imagined -- Bayside High.

From the first day I watched Good Morning, Miss Bliss -- the precursor to Saved by the Bell -- I always imagined my school to be the same.

Kids skateboarding down the hallway with boomboxes on his or her shoulder. A principal who put the "pal" in "principal" and knew more about me than my mother.

Only one hallway, in which my friends and I had all of our lockers and, of course, the crazy situations that only my friends and I could get into.

Our schools did share the same mascot -- the tiger -- so how different could it be?

Alas, I was mistaken.

For some reason that still remains a mystery to me today, my principal wouldn't let students wear hats in the building, let alone skateboard down the hallway. There was even more than one hallway in the three-story building, in which lockers were placed in alphabetical order.

As for the crazy situations -- the lame class periods got in the way.

Apparently, Bayside High is the only school in which classes last as long as a 14-year-old viewer's attention span.

In my economics class, we never had projects in which we were given $100 to design and develop a product like "Buddy Bands."

Casey Kasem never hosted a dance contest at my local hangout, or host a TV special -- much like Behind the Music -- about the band I never had.

And just when I thought Saved by the Bell only ruined my high school career, I turned on the television to find Saved by the Bell: The College Years.

Not only was the program a disgrace to every SBTB fan, it also ruined my college career.

The pitiful program portrayed college as ... not this.

First of all, the dorms. God. I can't even talk about this without angry. Fighting ... urges ... OK, better now.

College, right.

I guess Penn State has nothing on California University. There, six freshmen -- three men and three women -- share the dorm.

A living area separates the two bedrooms, but the prospect of sharing a dorm with three beautiful women was very enticing.

So much enticing that I enrolled in college.

The idea of having a former professional football player as my RA also seemed pretty sweet-ass, but it was all about the dorm. Much to my dismay, SBTB misled me again.

Packer Hall (third floor in the house) was NOTHING like the dorm I saw on TV.

I can't even begin to describe the differences, but I think "pee in the elevators" sums it up well.

Needless to say, SBTB has provided me both entertainment and frustration as it has slowly ruined my life.

Now, as I stand on the brink of graduating from college, I can't help but wonder if the kids from Bayside will again bring me displeasure.

After all, what fan could forget the SBTB movie in which Zack and Kelly get married?

Will I someday be disappointed by my own wedding?

If those bastards from Bayside have anything to do with it, probably.

GO VALLEY!