I graduate next week. As strange as it is to see those words in print, it's true. I'm the type of person who, when he comes to those inevitable transition periods life throws our way, chooses to focus on the road ahead rather than the road behind.

But before I press on to bigger and better things (like actually obtaining some sort of employment, perhaps), I feel almost a sense of obligation to fill this space with the things I've learned in my four years at Penn State. It is a senior column, after all. I'll be honest, many of these things weren't learned in the classroom, at least not the things my professors wanted me to learn.

Some were learned at parties, some while riding the Loop, some even in the fifth floor bathroom of Curtin Hall, during one of the greatest and strangest discussions about world religions of all time.

But I learned the most from spending time in the room in which I'm writing this final column.

One of the best ways to get to know this grand ol' college town is to view it through the objective (ha!) eyes of a newspaper reporter, and I'd like to think that my knowledge extends beyond what I garnered from the Bryce Jordan Center locker room and the lush green grass of Jeffrey Field.

With the help of my trusty, cynical alter ego, who has been itching to get back into this column for months, I've chronicled a few of the nuggets I've picked up along the way. They've all come from my experiences as a reporter/editor, but I would like to think they are all applicable to the rest of the world as well.

I've learned ...

That if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and talks like a duck ... it isn't necessarily a duck.

But it can probably swim.

That one of the beautiful things about this business is that each and every day is a chance to start again. There's no time to dwell on success or failure.

Yesterday's news is just that.

Tell that to your lawyer when you get sued for libel.

That although the sports pages typically contain stories of accomplishment, there can be and have been nearly as many about the wrongs of the sports world and those who dwell within it.

We owe it to our readers to report on the bad as well as the good.

Yeah, thanks. Rick and Jay wrote about that yesterday, moron. Don't you read this paper anymore?

That you don't have to be friends with your sources to get the story -- in fact, in most cases, you shouldn't be friends.

That was easy for you -- most of your sources wanted to kick your ...

That there's no greater rush than the feeling you get when you hang up the phone after getting exactly what you wanted and more out of the interview, than the feeling that comes from completing a story two minutes before deadline and knowing you nailed it.

No greater rush, eh? So why have you been at the bar every night this week?

That the best way to cure an ego trip is to pick up a story you wrote two years ago.

How many old stories do you think it will take to cure your ego?

That it's important to listen to and eventually seek out the advice of those who came before you, and then do your best not to screw it up as you pass it on to those who came after you.

Go ahead and screw it up. It's not as though anyone's listening anyway.

That this is not the end of the road, just an onramp onto a highway.

Is that why you still haven't found a job?

Finally, and most importantly, I've learned how much I still have to learn.

You can say that again.

Oh, and I've learned that in this business, a healthy dose of cynicism can't hurt.

But sometimes it's in our best interest to suppress it ...

Hey! What are you doing? Put that down! Hey ...